Jr. Blogger speaking. I have now returned to Musings of a Maniac, and instead of being interviewed by the Maniac, I will interview him. Enjoy bitches.. while we talk about New Jersey and Brooklyn hipsters. Without further due I give to you the Maniac!
Junior Blogger: Maniac, if you had to pick one place to live, would it be New Jersey, with the sparkly spandex, or Brooklyn, with the white Brooklyn hipsters?
Maniac: I rather live in a hole in the ground filled with human waste than live in either one of those places!
Junior Blogger: Why such strong feelings? Give me more details.
Maniac: How long have you known me?
Junior Blogger: Shut up bitch and answer the question. I would like to have details on why you feel so strongly. Is that so hard?
Maniac: From the stupidity of this question, it makes me wonder whether you attend one of those elite private schools with wealthy retards who can't hack it in the public school system. I get pissed off when I see a pillow askew, and now you're wondering why I feel so strongly. I FEEL STRONGLY ABOUT EVERYTHING! Get with the program you pea brained smelly fart mother fucker!!
Junior Blogger: Okay, retard. Shut your big fat mouth and answer the question. What do you think about New Jersey and Brooklyn?
Maniac: New Jersey is for people with two X chromosomes and Brooklyn is for people who don't realize they have two X chromosomes. Both of these places are for people in serious need of a lobotomy. Better yet, why not just beat their brains out with a baseball bat. That would be more fun then clubbing a baby seal to death.
Junior Blogger: How would you define the term "Brooklyn hipster?"
Maniac: How would you define the term diarrhea? It's nothing, but a pile of shit after too much crappy food. That's Brooklyn baby!! Nothing, but a group of elitist snotty nosed motherless whores. In Brooklyn, the world is upside down. The men have vagina's and the women have dicks! Does that clarify matters enough for you?
Junior Blogger: I couldn't have said it better myself. Now what about the New Jersey people? How would you define them?
Maniac: New Jersey, its a little different from Brooklyn, but still a huge pile of steaming smelly shit! Rather than wearing overalls and a goatee, the Jersey crowd wears speedos to highlight their Jersey sized equipment and pot bellies. The women are an even bigger problem. The sparkly spandex only further highlights a huge Camel toe issue. Get the picture?
Junior Blogger: I get it loud and clear. Now, here's an interesting question for you, where do you think Obama would prefer to live and why?
Maniac: Obama would choose Brooklyn not because of the blacks, but because of the wimpy white whores who live there who are just like him.
Junior Blogger: How do you think the people in Jersey are celebrating the holidays?
Maniac: They don't celebrate the holidays unless you think Kwanzaa is a holiday, which it isn't. Its made up.
Junior Blogger: So are you saying things in New Jersey are artificial?
Maniac: Well, it's got to match all the white assholes who live there.
Junior Blogger: Well, somebody's getting hostile. Is there any other place you could compare to New Jersey or Brooklyn?
Maniac: No, nothing quite as disgusting.
Junior Blogger: I will conclude with one comment from myself. Yes, I would have no interest in living in either one of these places, but I would rather live in New Jersey than Brooklyn. I would rather be around glitter and Escalades than phonies like Brooklyn hipsters.
Maniac: If you are heading to New Jersey, have fun. I will stay here in Manhattan with my shoebox apartment until I die and no one notices for days until the smell of my rotting flesh bothers my neighbors.