As we approach the end of 2010, many small town bitter Americans clinging to their guns, religion and bigotry are commencing their "holiday" celebrations even though it is fucking Christmas. A matter of fact no other major holiday occurs during this period other than made up ones like Kwanzaa or trumped up ones like Hanukkah, unless you consider New Year's a holiday, which gets me to grievance Number 1.
1. 2011. As all the fat stupid slobs gather around the table to stuff themselves like a Democrat at a Wall Street fundraiser, they will all be chattering like the Who's in Whoville about how we have so much to look forward to as 2011 approaches. But what they don't ever realize after years of the same pathological pattern is that any resolution you make will be broken by February. Therefore, for those who claim they will stop drinking or lose weight or find a new love or career, you are kidding yourselves. If you think somehow the change in your calendar will improve your sorry lot, you are sadly mistaken. 2010 was indeed a rotten year, but how is that different from the last decade in this declining country some like to the U.S. of KKK to quote Reverend Wright. Amerika is truly finished and if anything is further prove of that, it is the latest actions we have seen from the Pilousy Congress as it faces its final death rattle.
2. The Republican Party. There are many people out there who thought that voting for the hapless Republican Party would somehow send a message to the empty suit with a thin resume that they had had enough of his Marxist Dictatorship. Instead, Piglousy and Company have played the old men of the GOP like a fiddle. Instead of blocking every thing Obama wanted just out of spite, they acceded to his demands in exchange for a two year extension of Bush's ill conceived and poorly designed tax cuts. Instead of letting all the assholes who voted for the Black Jesus suffer the wrath of the IRS with higher taxes, they agreed to another trillion dollar stimulus, a meaningless treaty that will neuter our military, not to mention bankrupt all the defense contractors who make their fortunes developing meaningless weapons that we will never use. At least we can breath a sigh of relief that the military will start its own Project Runway reality show now that Don't Ask, Don't Tell has been repealed.
3. Scott Brown and his ilk. None of the above would have happened if it was not for Senators like Scott Brown. As we recall, Brown was the guy who replaced the murdering drunk, Fat Dead Ted Kennedy, in the Senate. His victory was to usher in a stern warning to Reid and Piglousy. Health care reform was dead on arrival they said. Well, as it turns out, Brown did nothing to end the destruction of the American health care system and he has consistently voted with the Democrats on major issues in an effort to get re-elected in Massachusetts. What else should we expect from a guy who posed naked in Cosmopolitan magazine? His horrible daughter, Ayla, the Princess of Privilege, appeared on American Idol years ago and butchered her rendition of Unwritten so badly it made Al Gore even more impedent than was possible. Now he sits in the Senate acting like a typical politician looking for a free lunch from lobbyists and Wall Street fat cats. This supposed symbol of the Tea Party Movement shows us that Piglousy was right about the astroturf. Now these morons have circled around the Alaskan moose killer as if she is the second coming of Christ.
4. Sarah Palin. Prior to being selected by McNasty as a Vice Presidential candidate, no one ever even heard of this crazy bitch. Now, she is being touted as the populist firebrand who will revive the GOP to its Reaganite glory. Ronald Reagan had a long career in Hollywood, became Governor of California and ran for President four times before obtaining the nomination. He spent years learning about politics and never appeared on National TV clubbing a Halibut to death. As President, he inspired a nation that was mired in malaise as consequence of 60 years of the New Deal and Great Society. Even his enemies greatly admired him as a consequence of his strong leadership skills. And somehow this nitwit who doesn't even read a newspaper is going to replace him. I think not. Ronald Reagan collapsed the Berlin Wall and left the Soviet Union in the ash heap of history. Sarah Palin had a retard kid and should go back to raising him instead of running around the country in Nieman Marcus attire making one stupid syntax error after the next. I can't think of anyone more unqualified to lead this country.
5. B. Hussein Obama. Ooops. I forgot about the Black Jesus, who is an even bigger moron than Sarah Palin. Big Momma Clinton and Joe Plagiarize Biden correctly noted that this empty suit was all talk and no substance. The last two years have more than proven that he is an incompetent. Let's recall the BP Oil spill where his excuse was: "What am I supposed to do? Suck it up with a straw!" Not really loser, how about growing a dick. If he can't do that, he could use the First Beast's penis. Obambi can read from a teleprompter with eloquence, but in the end results matter and his sorry record in office is a disgrace and embarrassment. Americans are suffering with record unemployment and staggering debt. Abroad our allies view Obama as an apologetic buffoon and our enemies are emboldened by his weakness. He is an elitist swine who road the affirmative action train to colleges he was unqualified to attend and a job he can't handle. America rewarded his efforts by electing 63 Republicans to the Congress, a historical record, even though the GOP has been fully discredited as a lighter version of the Democrat Party.
Thus, when the NY Times and MSNBC goes hog wild about Palin's stupidity, they should remember how much they lauded this unmitigated failure. His intellect is about as deep as a conversation at a Beverly Hills Nail Salon. The Soviet style of economics was a proven failure, yet he and Reverend Wright still cling to this discredited ideology, He is indeed a race baiter as indicated by his uncanny need to accuse all his critics of racial bias, even though none of them spent 20 years in Reverend Wright's church, let alone referred to his grandmother as a "typical white person." He wrote in his Memoir that he wanted to expuge all the white blood from his body. Wouldn't it be nice if he would just shut the fuck up and went away? Ronald Reagan has been viewed as one of the Greatest Presidents of the 20th Century, even by historians who are mostly leftist. Obama will be lucky if he ends up in at the bottom of the second tier like Bill Clinton.
6. The Obesity Epidemic. Americans are indeed fat as houses. They suck off the teet of the welfare state for generations and wonder why Little Johnny has an LDL level higher than his IQ. In effort to save the fatties, assholes like Bloomberg ban trans fats and salt. Taking his mantle of arrogance is the fattest First Lady since the Blueberry, Barbara Bush. Michelle is ugly, large and unsightly. The last thing we need is someone with her fat ass telling us how to feed our children. Tell her to spend some time with those two brats and stay the fuck out of our meals. Sharta and Malaria attend private schools for wealthy retards who are too good for public schools. Instead of being coddled, those two bitches should have their jaws wired shut instead of eating 2,000 calories of vegan cupcakes.
7. Cupcakes. Ever since that horrible show on HBO, Sex In the City, where the tramps who acted like single men scoffed down cupcakes at Magnolia's in the Village, we have seen more cupcake stores than I care to count. I don't know about you, but I fucking hate cupcakes. If I want something sweet, I'll eat some cake as Marie Antoinette suggested many moons ago. Cupcakes are the ultimate fatty treat. It makes all these cows feel like they are having a small indulgence, when in truth, most of these oinkers can't just stop at one. If I see one more Goddamn cupcake store, I promise I will burn it down. Leave it to Hollywood to start a nauseating trend like that.
8. Gwyneth Paltrow. Her recent movie where she plays a drug addicted country singer makes me steam with rage. This arrogant whore has made one remark after the next about how unwashed American are and then she chooses a uniquely American genre to stage a comeback to her crappy acting career. This former friend of Madonna went to Spence on the Upper East Side of Manhattan where she was famous for giving head to Irish youths in the back of a car. Thus, why this gutter snipe sperm burping pig things she can play a country singer is beyond me? When someone becomes so insufferable that not even Madonna can stand her, you know there has to be something wrong with her. Fuck her and the horse she road in on. I so want to see her get the same treatment as the Dixie Chicks.
9. Heath Ledger. If there is any Hollywood figure who is more overrated than Paltrow, it has got to be this son of a bitch. Christian Bale was so much better in Batman Returns than this drug addict piece of shit, it is not even funny. Although he died before 2010, this creep still pisses me off. Thus, he gets an honorary spot on my list of grievances year after year. Some drug addict who was selfishly fulfilling his depraved needs instead of raising his daughter is no one to cry about. He outdoes Elizabeth Edwards and Ted Kennedy in annoying. Screw him!! Not only was he a bad actor, he was an even worse person. Instead of cleaning up his act and getting it together for his kid, this little bitch stuffed himself with drugs and gets rewarded with an Oscar. Burn in Hell!!!
10. Brooklyn, New York. When Heath and Michelle Williams moved Brooklyn, they started a trend that continues to this very day. White elitist Manhattan assholes who work at investment banks and Wall Street law firms move to Brooklyn trying to be hip and destroy America's fourth largest city. Everyone remembers Brooklyn from the days of Welcome Back Carter. It was the humble borough that was home to immigrants, the working class and African-Americans. It was the true New York where those looking to make it started off before venturing to Long Island and New Jersey. Now, it has been infiltrated with a most noxious form of humanity, which Katy Perry so eloquently portrays in her song, Ur So Gay. In the immortal words of my big breasted muse:
I hope you hang yourself with your H&M scarf
While jacking off listening to Mozart
You bitch and moan about LA
Wishing you were in the rain reading Hemingway
You don’t eat meat
And drive electrical cars
You’re so indie rock it’s almost an art
You need SPF 45 just to stay alive
You’re so gay and you don’t even like boys
Now, I must conclude my list of grievances and get back to celebrating this joyous CHRISTMAS season. I hope that next year will be even more miserable than 2010 so that I can come up with twenty, rather than ten, grievances. America truly makes me sick and the way this holiday is destroyed by the crass crony capitalism of Wall Street and Madison Avenue only adds fuel to my fire.
While you are enjoying your turkey and sausage, I hope a Sugar Plum Ferry sticks an candy cane up your fat ass!!