Last night, our top three sang three songs, the Judges' and Producers' choice as well as their own selection. But before we even begin to discuss performances, it is time to start taking stock of this competition as our journey comes to a close for a seventh season.
As is always the case when watching this august competition, my high school friend called me during the commercial break to discuss the performances. At one point, she was on the phone with her sister who told her "You're still watching this." My junior blogger ran around like a chicken with her head chopped off. I asked her why she wasn't paying attention any more and she said, " I just don't care any more. Without Brooke, this competition is nothing to me."
Perhaps that explains why the viewership has dropped by a whopping 36% since January 15 when the journey began. On that day of promise and hope, 33.24 million viewers tuned in. Yet, on May 6th, the last results show, there were only 21.25 million viewers. What once promised to be a field of dreams of rosette skies striving for a better tomorrow now looks the Love Canal of hopeless despair. For this competition to survive, wholesale changes are needed. Otherwise, Idol may be heading towards the same demise as the Republican Party. Last night, the GOP lost another House Seat in a safe district in Mississippi to a pretend conservative Democrat. Now, the Pelosi forces of darkness will have one more ally in their quest to turn America into the next New Jersey.
The Democrat Party, led by the man who is too good to wear a seat belt, has turned New Jersey over the last ten years into one of the highest tax states in the country, while the state flounders in corruption and fiscal ruin. Corzine even paid more for his whore than Spitzer when he fronted his union hack lover $400,000 as a "loan." If trends continue, I can see the same thing happening to our Shining City on the Hill, which will become a darkened palace of hedonism where criminals are allowed to roam free with the assistance of the Nanny State, while hard-working average Joes will be re-educated to embrace the cultural and moral depravity of the Soros' funded hacks.
Idol is heading in the same direction and changes are needed like yesterday! The first order of business should be the immediate termination of Randy Jackson. He has long outlived his usefulness and has offered nothing to this competition, other than meaningless commentary and racial bias. If the Producers want a real Pimp on this show, what could be better than Snoop Doggy Dog, who even made a guest appearance on One Life To Live?
Obviously, Seacrest and Cowell need to remain since America loves to laugh at their homo-erotic relationship, but they should do skits together like getting pedicures or shopping for Armani T-Shirts that don't highlight Simon's nipples. Ryan could treat Simon to a makeover, which could be a funny segment. As for our Plasticine Earth Mother, Paula Abdul, her drunk routine is wearing thin and I would rather see a Minx like Kellie Pickler stepping into her shoes. Other alternatives should include Cher or Madonna. Instead of getting plastic surgery and trying to continue with careers that are so over, they could usher new talent into the fold.
These are obvious changes, but much more will be needed. How about cutting back on those annoying auditions and choosing hopefuls who are not only good singers, but profoundly disturbed? Without drama, what is this competition? The Hills is turning into the next reality show juggernaut simply because every one loves to see a cat fight and now LC is feuding with Audrina, not to mention the ongoing Heidi-Spencer fight. The only excitement we have had this season is watching Giggle's stage Dad creep-out the other hopefuls, bully David and finally getting banned from going back stage. Indeed, Jeff Archuletta is no longer permitted back-stage to "help" David.
If you ask me that was too little too late. Every time he appears in the audience with his ugly hat, I want to pelt him with rocks and garbage. When Nigel Lythgoe was questioned about this incident in a recent interview, he handled the matter delicately, Instead, he should have gone off on this animal and called him out for being a hectoring shrewish loser who is trying to ride his son's coat-tails into fame and glory.
Speaking of that, Momma Clinton did herself proud last night in West Virginia with a landslide victory of 67% to 26%. She walloped the Schwarze Kennedy and highlighted how much he appalls typical white small town America. You go Girl!! Keep on keeping on! Without Hillary, there is no chance McNasty stands a chance of keeping the White House from the forces of darkness.
Nothing seems to stop our little bundle of love even though her campaign is $20 million in debt and all the superdelegates are flocking to Obama like moths to a flame. The entire cast of the Deliverance, along with their extended and incestuous families, must have voted. Senator Oreo was no where to be seen last night, but Hillary gave a stem-winder of a speech where she promised to fight to the bitter end.
She truly is someone you love to death. Shameless and disgraceful, even more so than the transformative racial healer who still can't seem to close the deal with typical white small-town America, despite the fierce urgency of now. Perhaps, he might want to give a shout out to his spiritual mentor, Reverend Wright. Without him, America would have never seen him exposed as the fraud that he is.
He promises to bring America together in a post-partisan color blind love feast, yet he campaigns with lies, distortions and corruption. When McNasty suggested we should seriously question putting someone who Hamas endorsed in the White House, the Schwarze Kennedy took a page out of the Clinton handbook and suggested that McCain had "lost his bearings," an obvious attack on McCain's age.
Shouldn't someone with no experience be careful raising an issue about a candidate with too much experience? Furthermore, it doesn't seem that McCain was too far off about Hamas since one of Senator Oreo's advisers met with them. Of course, he was fired when that was exposed, but that was just a political gimmick. Like Reverend Wright and Louis Farrakhan, it is clear that Obama wants to toss aside Israel's security interests in favor of the terrorist anti-American Islamofacists.
As for McNasty, he may not have lost his bearings about the Hamas remark, but he certainly did yesterday when he embraced Al Gore's global warming hoax. Bob Barr is looking better and better to me. Instead of currying favor with dated concepts like global warming, McNasty may want to stand up for reason. A recent article in Nature Magazine highlighted that temperatures are expected to cool over the next 20 years, rather than rise
Why would he jump on the junk science band wagon? It is a betrayal to those who are sick and tired of a fake money making crisis created by a man who invented the Internet, served as the basis for Love Story, money-laundered campaign contributions through a Buddhist temple, and tried to steal the 2000 election from George W. Bush. By the way, a shout out to Jenna and her marriage. She looked lovely as a bride and it was nice to see her starting a traditional family, unlike Hillary's whoreish shrew who works for a hedge fund, while people in Africa are starving.
On Idol last night, America also got starved since there were very few outstanding performances, with the exception of David Cook, who won the night. Without the help of his stage Dad, David fell flat on two of his performances, but equipped himself well with his performance of Longer, the Producer's choice. Although the song is horrible and meant for a 90-year old as noted by Simon, it suited David well, which should say something about his future as a lounge act at rest homes.
Giggles also tried to be sexy and chose Chris Brown's With You, but that was a complete and utter joke. What a horrible song choice! Sexy and Giggles mix as well as Democrats and patriotism. He also did a boring and predictable job on And So It Goes, but the vocals were strong. Overall, for the night, he gets a 22/30 rating. Stage Dad is going to be so pissed. I wonder what he will do next week to try to insinuate himself into this competition. Nigel better get a few rabid German Shepherd's back stage to keep him away.
Syesha is finished and must and should go home tonight. She looked hot and did the best she good to highlight her attributes. She strip-teased herself through an uninspired performance of Fever and did a bad imitation of Alecia Keyes' If Ain't Got You. Randy chose the song and it was a dreadful as noted by Simon. I felt like I was at a Piano Bar at a cheap motel off the Garden State Parkway, where McGreevey was in the rest room visiting his favorite Glory Hole
Her Penguin routine, Hit Me Up, was also all over the place. She got lost in the song and has long overstayed her welcome, just like the Clinton crime family. For the night, she gets a 19/30 rating. Paula even damned her when she said that she wasn't going to get to the finals. When Paula Abdul says something bad to anyone, you better sit up and listen. That was the ultimate kiss of death.
I don't care how many gold sparkly outfits our little hoochie Momma wears, that can only get her so far. On the other hand, she could certainly qualify as a Schwarze Goldie Horn, but just like Goldie, her routine is tiresome and finished.
David Cook, on the other hand, brought down the house with his performance of I Don't Want to Miss a Thing. The song is horrible and overplayed, but he made it his own and the crowd went wild. However, for some reason, Randy thought it was just okay. If we didn't need further evidence that Snoop is needed as a judge, that moment was it. Get out! Randy should stop trying to trump Simon. It will never happen. America loves a witty Brit over a bland Disney-like Pimp wannabee anytime.
David also did himself proud with Simon's choice of First Time Ever I Saw Your Face. It was an interesting song choice and David sang with controlled elegance and the rocked it out at the end with his signature style.
On the other hand, I'm not sure what Switch Foot is and his performance of Dare You To Move was just all right for me. For the evening, David gets a 26/30 rating and has certainly earned his place in the finale. He came from nowhere during the auditions wearing an argyle sweater, which seriously compromised his claim to be a rocker. But week after week, he has defined himself and is really one of the few this season who could achieve commercial success. Thus, he has now earned himself the endorsement as the next American Idol, despite how that will further screw up my chances of winning the Idol Pool.
But I'm willing to sacrifice for the greater good. It is more important than ever that this season produces another sensation of the ilk of Kelly Clarkson and Carrie Underwood. Without that, this competition can expect even less viewers next year.
Tonight, we will get the results and Syesha is most likely out. But you never know what may happen. Until the results are announced, there is no guarantee of victory as the Schwarze Kennedy is noting this morning as he mulls over his dramatic and stunning defeat to my girl Hillary.
Until the results,
Maniac - - out