Last night's results show was predictable and the long-awaited David v. David finale is a foregone conclusion. Syesha had about as much chance of getting to the final two as our Blue Collar Momma, Hillary, has of getting the Democrat Party Presidential nomination, now that the Breck Girl has endorsed the Schwarze Kennedy. But before we get to that, did anyone notice Simon's expression after Fantasia performed last night? He looked like he passed a kidney stone. I'm sure America had the same reaction and the performance was reminiscent of Britney Spears' comeback performance of Gimme More on the VMA's.
When Ryan announced that Broadway star and singing sensation Fantasia was performing for us, I expected one hell of an UGLY performance. Who can forget when she got down on bended knee before America and blew it out of the park with her rendition of Summertime? That was a classic Idol moment that almost brought Simon to tears. What we saw last night was a totally different Fantasia. She has packed on more pounds than a bear before hibernation and her booty looked like Beyonce, J. Lo and Tyra Banks combined. With the hair and a few tatoos, you might even mistake her for Denis Rodman. Her outfit was unsightly and her performance of Bore Me was so over the top, it was hard to know how to react.
Fantasia has always been an Idol favorite and captured our hearts in Season 3 as the crack ho with a dream that transcended her hardscrabble origins. Who would have thought it would have come to this? In the immortal words of Whitney Houston, the former Mrs. Bobbie Brown, "crack is whack." Fantasia has gone way downtown and it was a classic American tragedy.
There are no words to express our shock and dismay. I will say this. She can shake that junk in the trunk like no other. Despite that fact that she is now three times bigger than in Season 3, she can move like a Democrat going after our tax dollars. She was all over that stage shaking and grinding like Bill Clinton at an underage sorority party. Let's hope that was just an aberration and that Fantasia is not headed for an untimely demise. We long for the day when she gets down and UGLY like no other hopeful.
As for the Fag, John Edwards, he is just plain ugly and his lame attempt to claim the VP mantel once again is not fooling any one here in America. He spoke yesterday about creating "one" America, but as far as I know, America has always been one country, except when Democrats divide us based on race, class and economics as they try to instill their socialist aspirations.
Senator Oreo must have breathed a sigh of relief since Edwards seems to be his only hope of connecting with typical white and bitter small-town America. However, why someone who gets $500 haircuts and gets paid $50,000 for a speech on poverty somehow connects with the working class is beyond me? In the minds of the far radical Left, someone who spends more time grooming in front a mirror than Hollywood celebrities is a working class hero, as is our $109 million dollar girl, Hillary.
John Edwards will and always has been a slimy ambulance chaser who tried to exploit his son's death for political purposes. Unfortunately, his 8 year quest for the White House ended in defeat in 2004 and with a whopping total of 19 delegates in 2008. If the transformative racial healer thinks that will help him connect with typical white people, I may want to sell him the Brooklyn Bridge. As for Edward's fat cow of a wife, she was no where to be seen yesterday since she feels more affinity for Hillary. I guess unqualified losers who cling to their incompetent and failed husbands have an affinity for each other. Let's hope we don't have to listen to Elizabeth pimping her alleged cancer diagnosis to get even more sympathy votes. I don't think I could handle it.
Frankly, I am not the only one. Our American patriot, who was the son of a black-listed Commie pinko, was at Cannes yesterday and said he found Obama's voting record to be "phenomenally inhuman." Indeed, I refer to the man who beat Madonna, third-rate loser actor Sean Penn. Like his father, he is nothing but a weak-kneed fudge packer. Can't you just picture Tim Robbins banging Sean while Sarandon man-handles Timmy boy?
I guess Sean must be upset that the Schwarze Kennedy has now been spotted wearing a flag lapel pin for three days in a row while playing pool in order to establish his blue-collar credentials. So much for his promise about avoiding false symbols like the American flag. After his 41 point loss to our darling Hillary in West Virginia, he decided he might want to wrap himself in the flag in the same manner that he embraced his anti-American bigoted minister for the last 20 years along with the Weather Underground Terrorist, William Ayers.
As for Idol last night, the show was not so interesting, but for the Fantasia train wreck. Syesha was cast to the wind, which was more than expected, but she handled it with grace and dignity. The video of her hometown visit didn't generate the same crowds as the Davids, but she came off as human and likable. I have a new appreciation for her and wish her well. She is keeping her Daddy sober through her magnificent achievements. I also want to send a shout out to Mayor Lou Ann Palmer who did a handstand for Syesha in Sarasota. From the looks of her hometown, Syesha came a long way to get to this stage.
As an Italian-American, I understand her struggle against the heavy hand of the white man who has oppressed us with their condescending handouts. Yet, we rise above it. As my junior blogger noted, "I'm FBI (full blooded Italian)," even though she has some dirty blood running through her body. As FBI's, we know can overcome the Left-wing assault on our freedoms. They care more about protecting overpopulated polar bears than they do about keeping our taxes low so that we build wealth and live free from interference of the Nanny State.
Ultimately, American Idol attracts more interest than the scum in the Democrat Party. 56 million American voted and in the house last night, we saw Kristy Lee Cook, Michael Johns, the Mail Order Bride, Jacuzzi and our Sunshine, Brooke White. However, the medley was once again not so grand. The three just don't jive together even though the song choice of Ain't No Stopping Us Now was inspired. The Ford Commercial, Heaven, was also just all right since we had seen the Fortune Teller routine in previous seasons.
However, Idol is always far better than the other reality shows. Since the results started at 9, my junior blogger and I were forced to watch America's Top Model Finale. What a joke!. Tyra Banks is even more annoying than Katie Couric. Of course, they ended up picking the fat one as the top model, Whitney. What a politically correct ploy? Since when are runway models supposed to be bigger than a house? Now that Tyra has so much junk in the trunk, I guess she had to favor the fatty over the more slender and dumber, Anya. When my junior blogger saw Jay Emmanuel coaching the girls, she couldn't believe what she saw. She noted that "he brings gay to a whole other level."
I comforted her by reminding her that so does John Edwards. Unlike the well-coiffed Botoxed opportunist, both Davids provided us with some emotional highs on their homecoming visits. When David Cook went to see his elementary school teacher in Missouri to thank her for the encouragement, she wept as did America at this touching Idol moment. David has acted as a gentlemen throughout this competition and he more than deserved the outpouring of support from his hometown crowd.
Giggles also got a heroes welcome in Murray, Utah and even when crying, he giggles. His mother also looked hot, which makes it hard to believe that she would remain married to the hatted stage Dad, who was giving dirty looks to Nigel Lythgow after he was banned from going backstage. However, what was even more disturbing than David's father is Mayor Snarr, who had a waxed handle bar mustache. Who would have thought our Giggles hailed from the wild wild west?
Next week, Season Seven will come to close in what should prove to be an exciting finale and will probably end up being a very close finish. David Archultetta appeals to all the pre-teen girls, while David Cook has Cougars on the prowl for his ass. This should prove to be a fight to the finish, but I better get too see Kelly Clarkson on stage. Where has she been? If she can sing Ava Maria to the Pope, she can certainly sing for America on the stage where it all began for her and some many other grasping for that moonbeam to the stars.
Until next week,
Maniac - - out