Last night, Simon astutely commented that two weeks straight of Beatles songs is too much for America. Our attention spans are just not that long. The odious odes of drugged out devil worshipers are not enough to keep our attention.
What is more interesting is how Paul McCartney is even more financially incompetent than Eliot Spitzer. After all, Eliot only paid about $80,000 for his whores, while Sir Paul has to shell out close to $48 million for just one. His former wife can now get her prosthetic gold plated and she can write a tell all book about how she bagged herself a senile old coot who has a fetish for a stump.
Of course, I have no interest in reading about the lurid details of Sir Paul's marriage. That is about as interesting as those who argue that the Beatles were somehow revolutionary. They were conventional pop hacks with the talent of Lief Garret and the moral authority of Hillary Clinton. Speaking of that, Hillary's records as First Lady are finally going to be released, but they will be conveniently redacted. Thus, America will never know exactly how she spent her time as First Lady, but we're a creative bunch and will certainly be able to figure it out. She hired private detectives to threaten and harass Bill's free hookers, rifled though the FBI files of political enemies, covered up her shady financial dealings from her days in Arkansas, delivered the Congress to the GOP for the first time in 60 years and arranged for the suicide of the man who was about to spill all the beans to investigators.
Now, she claims to have the experience to be President, but it all seems to be slipping away as the Super-delegates of the Democrat Party abandon her in favor of the supposed racial healer, Senator Obama. Yesterday, Obama thought he'd shim sham and flim flam America with his jive talk about race. First, he's black and then he's white, but that still doesn't excuse or explain why he found spiritual healing from Reverend Jeremiah Wright. Did America's chickens come home to roost on 9/11? Did 3,000 Americans deserve to die because the likes of the Wright couldn't make it in this country without playing the victim?
With affirmative action, welfare, civil rights protections and political correctness, there is no excuse for all this hateful outrage from a group of people who have had it way too easy for too long. It is my Italian-American brothers and sisters who have suffered at the heavy-handed tactics of the White Man who threw everything but the kitchen sink at us including RICO in effort to keep us down financially. At the same time, they have no problem bailing out Wall Street with billions after all their trickerations with mortgage-backed securities. Who provides more value? Genco Olive Oil or Bears Stearns?
The financial sharks of Wall Street can now swim freely now that the chastened Sheriff of Wall Street has been sidelined and sent off to the pasture at his multi-million dollar Columbia County Estate while his replacement regales us with his stories about banging his mistresses at the Days Inn on The Upper West Side. For a blind man, David Patterson sure can find himself some tang. At least his wife is also in on the adultery as announced yesterday. I wonder if they ever had three-ways like the esteemed McGreevey's of New Jersey.
As for Idol, nothing captures what happened last night than a pithy statement from Jersey Nick: "Sunshine does Shine, Giggles doesn't laugh, Blackbird doesn't fly and the Fab Four (now two) destroys American Idol." What an atrocity America had to endure with another putrid week of the Lennon and McCartney. Do I have to say this again and again? Where is David Chapman when you need him? Calling John Hinckley and any other willing assassin!! Let's make it the Fab 0 for the betterment of humanity.
At least tonight, our Pickle will return and grace us with her country charms. Kellie Pickler is no Heather Mills or Hillary Clinton or Silda Wall Spitzer. She is a true American who represents the best of the heartland. Let's hope that Hollywood doesn't despoil her as they did last season in that Tragic Transformation which took the girl who gave us a "ballsy" and "Sal-o-man" along with Puck and Pickle and turned her into a Shore Whore like Eliot's $4,400 ho.
The show started with Amanda who quipped that Hollywood is a lot better than performing on a flat bed truck, but despite referring to her main street-like background, she sings a song like Back in the U.S.S.R. How dare she? Did she know what she did? It was a tragic mistake and at best a 6.5/10 performance. As for her use of eye liner, my junior blogger sarcastically noted that "Oh, yes, never leave the house without eyeliner." The judges gave her mixed reviews and she defended herself by saying that people will buy tickets to see the real Amanda, but Simon brutally knocked her down when he said "You're tickets aren't on sale yet." With her sleeveless shirt and broad shoulders, Ms. Overmyer probably won't fit in at the next Junior League cotillion, but I'd be surprised if she doesn't last another week. After all, America may like a tough as nails rocker chick with arms that could choke an Anaconda to death.
Unfortunately for Ava Braun, she was just not good enough to merit another week and she is at serious risk of leaving. I will give her props for looking softer and less like the daughter of the Grand Dragon of the KKK last night. But, then in an effort to humanize her monsterous carelessness, she shows a picture of the horse she sold to get to Hollywood. More importantly, who the hell would name their dog Autumn? She's the one who might get a spread in Penthouse, not her doggy. Her rendition of You've Got to Hide Your Level Ways was a 6.5/10 and not good enough to redeem her in my opinion, but she should thank the Mail Order Bride for closing out the show and sucking even worse with a 5.5/10 rendition of I Should Have Known Better.
Imagine coming on stage in Hollywood dressed like a human bowling pin and providing us with an off-pitch performance that was absolutely horrible. Ramiele better get back to posing in photos where other girls grab her breasts as America may dispense with her for that terrible performance that actually did make Isaac XL sound good on the harmonica. Furthermore, she and her dirty habits better stay away from Sunshine. I didn't like it one bit when the video showed her getting hugs from our G-rated Brooke White. Mail Order Bride seemed to enjoy that a little too much and America won't stand for her defiling America's Nanny.
As for Chikezie, I wanted to drown him in a Jacuzzi after he put on that over-the-top all over the place disaster of a mess which was off-key, boring and manic all at the same time. He can't sing and belongs back on the Love Boat with his doppleganger. His rendition of I've Just Seen a Face was a 5/10 and I hope he gets the boot as America can only take too much of a black man starting off with a pop-like melody and turning it into a country jamboree. Back to LAX to Isaac XL , where he can strip search old ladies, while letting Islamofacists through with nothing but a pat on the back and easy access to slaughter thousands. After all, doesn't America's innocents deserve to be slaughtered as suggested by Reverend Wright, the spiritual adviser to the racial healer and Schwarze Kennedy.
Not all was bad last night. We did get treated to another master class performance by David Archuleta who giggled his way through all the lavish praise he received for his 9.5/10 performance of the Long and Winding Road. He found his niche and did himself proud, but I wonder if his improvement over last week had something to do with his stage Dad who makes Joan Crawford look like the Mother of the Year. Indeed, Giggle's Dad has been pushing this poor guy and I'm afraid he may end up like Dana Plato if he's not given the freedom to be a boy.
Everyone hates a stage parent as well as a dried up Aussie who thinks invoking a dead friend will somehow save himself from America's wrath. What a dreadful rendition of A Day in a Life which rates at 6.8/10.
Indeed, Outback Idol, Michael Johns, dressed in monochromatic black like Seacrest, but he has nowhere near Seacrest's panache. Furthermore, I am sick and tired about hearing about all these dead Australians. What is going on down under with all these young lives cut short. First Heath Ledger and now Michael Johns' friend dies. How convenient, but America isn't that stupid. New Yorkers might be when they elected the carpet-bagging ho to the Senate and a sanctimonious whore lover Eliot to the Governor's office, but America can see through this maudlin bullshit about a dead friend. I can't believe Simon let that go and didn't call him on it like he did last year when someone tried such a tasteless gimmick to gain sympathy.
I
nstead, Simon and all the judges piled on Sunshine for her 9/10 rendition of Here Comes the Sun. I will admit it was not as good as last week, but she blew America away with her sweetness and light. Dressed in yellow awkwardly dancing, she truly captures all that is good about the child care industry. Fuck Mary Poppins!! It is Brooke White who they should write fairy tales about. I was outraged and disgusted by the judges unfair attacks on her, particularly Randy, the racist. I'm sorry his size 13 shoes that Ryan likes to boast about couldn't attract a blond mistress. Sorry Randy, you are no O.J. and America hates a racist who savagely attacks a beautiful and angelic girl who gave me chills once again with her pure and lovely essence. Go listen to Reverend Wright and leave this competition if the best you can do is pimp crappy Chekezie and boring Syesha.
Although Ms. Mercado provided a 8/10 performance of Yesterday, she didn't make any emotional connection with that performance. As for Jason Castro's rendition of Michelle, it was at best a 6.8/10. At first, I thought he was weird, but now he just comes off as beyond stupid with all is incoherent babble about how he thought "belle" was English, rather than French. Give me a break and cut off those dreadlocks and stop dancing on stage like you're doing a polka dance as noted by Paula. Absolutely absurd!!
As for Irish Carly playing the victim with Blackbird, that wasn't appreciated one bit. Poor baby. She had a two million dollar record deal and blew it. She gets another chance on Idol along with American citizenship, yet she is somehow like a bird with a broken wing. She should be thanking her lucky stars for all the good fortune she has had, not to mention being married to a man with a permanent Halloween mask. My guess is he'll be the first to go when Carly gets another record deal. Despite her playing the victim card, her vocals were an 8.5/10, but she lacks emotional conviction when she sings. Perhaps, I might have been too distracted by the Grandma blouse she wore. What was she thinking? The ruffled, flowered collar just didn't go with the tattoo running down her arm. Furthermore, the 7 she got tattooed on her finger was not what America wanted to see. Instead of breaking her wing, someone might consider doing such to her despoiled finger.
Simon correctly noted what a dreadful song choice Blackbird was as well as noting how smug David Cook looked after his 9/10 performance of Day Tripper. I think he did his thing last night and he nicely played the guitar, but then had to show off with the voice box, which wasn't that impressive. Who does he think he is? Trach boy Anthony Federov. Leave the fancy styling to Isaac XL and stick to playing guitar. However, Greasy did put out another strong performance this week.
Tonight, this dreadful reign of the Beatles will come to an end with another visit from our Pickle. She is America's country girl who would never sell her horse for fame. Instead, her father would try to sell off her belongings on Ebay after she made it to the big time in Season 5.
Let's hope this will put an end to forcing these hopefuls to perform from the corrupted and putrid Manson inspiring song book of those who inspired the self-indulgent narcissists of the baby boom generation to roll around in the mud naked at Woodstock. We demand and deserve a more perfect Idol free of the divisions of the past and looking forward to a future of endless possibilities without tattooed fingers and dead friends
Until then,
Maniac - - out
Thanks for the shout out -- unfortunate typo on my part as it was supposed to be that Sunshine "Doesn't" Shine. In any event, I think your ratings must be off:
1. Sunshine -- 6.6 -- stop sassing the judges and just look pretty like your supposed to
2. Carly -- 3.4 -- Just awful
3. Mini Mouse -- 1.0 -- Worst of the night, judges were on drugs.
4. Leather -- 4.5 -- Only thing worse would be her screaming the other commie classic "Born in the USA"
5. Isaac XL -- 3.7
6. Giggles -- 7.1 -- sings well, but boring
7. Ava -- 6.7 -- She was 'aw right for me.
8. Aussie -- 2.2
9. Cook -- 7.0
10. Jason -- 1.5
11. MOB -- 1.2
Pick for bottom 3: MOB, Ava and Mini -- Goodbye Mini.
Posted by: Jersey Nick | March 19, 2008 at 03:14 PM