Musings of a Maniac

The Idol - Sunshine State Dreams of a Better Tomorow

America offers a beacon of hope for those yearning to be free.  What better place for Idol than the teeming shores of Miami where thousands have risked their lives to escape the Leftist Utopia of Cuba for the boundless opportunity and freedom that this Shining City on the Hill offers to those who want to work hard, take responsibility for their lives and reach to the next rung in this haven of limitless dreams of a better tomorrow.  Indeed, the Producers of Fox clearly relished the opportunity to help Miami shine, while the Party of the Left has used this state as a means for armed Federal thugs to send young children into the arms of dictator who has slaughtered, imprisoned and tortured those who had the audacity to hope.  Florida is also another example of the Left's playground for subverting the electoral process of this great Nation.

Florida does not also offer hope on its beautiful shores of its beaches, but in the dark corners of the everglades one of the most corrupt Attorney Generals in American History lurks.  Indeed, I refer to the hideous Janet Reno, who ordered gun-toting thugs into the home of Cuban-American citizens who wanted to provide their nephew, Elion Gonzalez, the freedoms of America.  Elion's mother died trying to provide a better life for him, yet that didn't matter to thugs of the Clinton administration who see more virtue in Castro, than America's greatest 20th Century President President, Ronald Wilson Reagan.  This horrid old maid not only destroyed Elion's life, she also ordered the slaughter at Ruby Ridge and killed 80 people at the Branch Davidian Compound.  Of course the Left turned a blind eye to this, yet screeched for months about Alberto Gonzalez.  Reno was behind the firing of 80 US Attorneys, two of which where investigating the rampant corruption of the Democrat Party during that dark era of a false economy.  Not only that, she buried the campaign finance corruption investigations of her boss, President I Like To Steal Furniture.

Florida not only reminds me of that horrid shrew, but also the bloated Nobel Prize winner who likes to denounce America on foreign shores while enriching himself through pimping his hoax about global warming.  The Miami Herald and USA Today counted the votes in Florida as Al Gore requested and he still lost, yet the Left continues with the delusion of stolen elections.  It is they who are practitioners of subverting the electoral process as noted by Hillary's attempts to claim Florida delegates in violation of the rules of her party.  As for Gore, why doesn't he try to invent a solution for his overblown ego, not to mention waistline, as he did with the Internet.  I don't know about you, I would prefer my Vice President to remain huddled in an underground bunker only to emerge to get a jump-start at the local Hospital before going on hunting trips for some target practice on friends.  For the record, I would rather go hunting with Dick than ever getting in a car with a Kennedy.  By the way Patrick, do you have an Ambien?  I barely slept last night.  I guess we will cross that bridge when we come to it.

In Miami, Idol showcased the bikini-clad bodies to the theme song for Miami Vice, which was in stark contrast to Omaha, where a young and rotund woman was showcased wearing a Tee-shirt that said "I Beat Anorexia."  Speaking of spending too much time at the all you can eat buffet at Stuckey's, did anyone notice Ryan Seacrest's emerging pot belly?  He must either be dining with Randy Jackson or has become the next celebrity with a baby bump.  A shout out to Gwen Stefani, an Italian-America icon who announced she was with child.  As a former guest judge from Season 6, we hold this pop diva in great regard for talent and grace.

I wish I could say the same for the meat grinder, Shannon McCough, who may have won singing competitions as a youth, but she was a shocking disappointment. She was cute and promising before she opened her mouth to butcher a song in the same manner she handled meat products at her parent's Deli.  What an unmitigated disaster.  I guess I should have seen that coming when he showcased her burping skills.  She sounded like Clinton after he got through with one of his many trips to MacDonald's for a low-fat meal. I can still recall when Madam DeFarge fired the White House Chef, along with the loyal employees of the Travel Office, so that she could set a good example for America with low-fat meals.  Even what they eat is a fraud since Hillary's hips remind me of the son of flubber while Bill's heart got so clogged with lard that he needed a quadruple by-pass.  It's too bad America's health care system wasn't overhauled by Hillary after all.  But for that, former President Pudge may have been in the fires of hell where he belongs race baiting, raping, stealing, pardoning and lying.  Not only did he debase his office, this guy would also ruin Hell's reputation.

Unlike that failed fraud of despair, Robbie Carrico got a ticket to Hollywood after a pretty good performance before the judges.  But, this former boy band star was not as good as he thought and it troubled me that he wore a ski hat in Miami, where the temperatures sore.  What was he hiding under that hat?  I ask an analogous question about Hillary when she wears a skirt.  My guess is that she is hiding male genitals  Thus, all those feminist who want the first female President may be in for a big surprise on Inauguration Day when she wipes away the pounds of make-up and we notice her five-o-clock shadow.  Speaking of the man-hating Left, the National Organization of Woman condemned Ted Kennedy for endorsing Obama.  I guess they rather support a he/she President who enabled her husband to rape, sexually harass and debase woman in the Oval Office.  I guess feminist principles only apply to Republicans like Senator Bob Packwood who they chased out of office for sexual harassment not to mention one of our greatest Supreme Justice, Clarence Thomas, who was also victimized by the racist Left-wing attack machine who only want to see black men who act like circus clowns via Al Sharpton, the race-baiting poverty pimp.

In Omaha, rumors were swirling that Paula once again was relieving her "chronic pain" with pills and alcohol, but in Miami, she was satisfying another vice when she cozied up to Ghaleb Emachah.  He tried to perform Marc Anthony and the judges voted him through to Hollywood, perhaps in honor of J. Lo who was another esteemed mentor from last season.  However, in America's living rooms, we scratched our heads since his performance was horrible.  I guess unlike the Democrats, the judges did not want to send him back to his home that is ruled by the dictator Chavez.    

Paula was not the only one who was getting her groove on last night.  Randy, Simon and Ryan both got some lovin' from Corliss Smith and Brittany Wescott.  Randy seemed mesmerized as Corliss sashayed towards him.  On the other hand, Simon seemed unimpressed, but both Corliss and Brittany got tickets to Hollywood.  I expected both of them to stink, but even I kind dug their performances.  I guess like Randy, Maniac likes back as the two of them were good-sized women. 

In the commercial breaks before Suzanne Toon performed, we were greeted with political commercials from Obama and Evita Clinton.  When my junior blogger noticed them, she proclaimed "You should be scared; he's a Democrat."  Not only that, our kitty jumped for her life when the ugly head of socialism reared its head in the middle of this august competition.  As for Suzanne's rendition If I Can't Make You Love Me, it was powerful and well received by the judges. She was a single mom whose career was derailed when she found out she was pregnant at 18.  But Idol offered hope to this hopeful and set her back on track.  She certainly deserved such an accolade for choosing life for her daughter, rather than killing her baby in the abortion mills that were founded by an avowed racist, Margaret Sanger. 

Following Suzanne, we got a blast from the past with a Jasmine Trias wannabee, Ramiele Maluby.  She was hot and had the audacity to tackle Natural Woman.  Frankly, she made America proud and could go much further than Jasmine.  Although a lovely girl, I will never forgive Jasmine for the way she destroyed All By Myself in Season 3.

Syesha Mercado showed up with her father who just graduated from rehab.  He could barely speak about his daughter who he knew he had disappointed by choosing drugs over her for so many years.  Unlike the indulgent Hollywood losers, at least this man is making an effort to clean himself up.  Syesha's performance of Think did entail over-singing, but she definitely had potential to make this competition better for all us, unlike the hacks of the Left who think a bridge back to the 20th Century will save America from its current course.  Indeed, Obama noted yesterday that Hillary is a "divisive" candidate.  Duh.  It's about time he noticed.  I guess that is what happens when you are educated in left-wing Ivy League intellectual gulags where Professors view Americans as deserving of slaughter by Islamofacits.

Idol then showcased a number of promising hopefuls including Natashia Blach and Ilsly Pinot.  Of course we then were greeted with string of freaks and losers, none disturbing enough worth mentioning, other than the overindulged Julie DuBela, who made to the Top 20 on American Juniors.  For someone so young, she certainly had a lot confidence, but way too much based on her performance.  She was a perfect example of what happens when soft parents coddle mediocre talent, rather than throwing cold water on their delusions.  If I was her, I'd start memorizing vocabulary for the SATs as Hollywood is not for her.  She didn't even know what precocious meant when Simon labeled her as such.  Another fine example of what the teacher's unions have done to our education system.

The showed ended with perhaps the biggest freak of the night, Brandon Black, who thought he was funny.  Paula almost jumped out of her skin when he sang I'll Make Love To You, which should highlight how bad he was since Paula always has a sweet spot for young male hopefuls as noted by her unnatural interest in that scum, Corey Clark, who tried to debase this competition with his damnable lies.  America will have none of that as his CD sold about as well as John Edward's Presidential campaign went. 

Next week, we will remain in Dixie with a trip to Atlanta and then off to Hollywood where this competition should start getting more interesting.  By the way, I was also totally miffed that the NJ Slut did not appear in Miami.  There were rumors circulating yesterday that Antonella auditioned again in Miami, but the Producers provided us no clips of such an appearance.  Perhaps, they wanted to spare America from another viewing of her tawdry escapades.  She may be the pride of New Jersey where former Governor McGreevey can be found at the Walt Whitman rest stop looking for a Dirty Sanchez, but America will have none of that.  After all, Idol is a family show appealing to our better spirits.  It isn't like the Democratic Presidential Primary where dirty tricks, electoral fraud and race baiting are the belle of the ball.

Until Atlanta,

Maniac - - out         

The Idol - Children of the Corn

Last night, this august competition moved to the heartland of America in its quest to find that special someone who can reach for the stars and sprinkle us with the gift of song.  I expected that Omaha, NE would provide us with manly men and ladies, but instead we got a parade of misfits that I would expect to find in Manhattan or New Jersey, where freaks of nature are embraced, while American values are trampled upon by the likes of Spitzer, Schumer, Corzine and the enabler of a rapist who stole furniture from the White House on the way out.  For those who live in the heartland away from the Elites on the East Coast, you should be applauded for being to stupid to punch a ballot, not to mention leaving your neighbors behind under the yoke of high taxes and corrupt politicians.  Yes, I am speaking to you, a shout out to NY's governor for getting his ass kicked by a 70-year old Eye-Talian and NJ's governor who almost got himself killed rushing to a meeting with a race hustling poverty pimp, Al Sharpton.  Unlike Al, Obama speaks from the heart against the feminine Clinonesta who was spurned by the drunken murderer of Massachusetts.

Isn't it something how after 16 years of dishonest and corrupt practices that the Left has finally gotten a clue about the Clinton crime family?  Indeed, it appeared that Bill's racial antics in South Carolina spurred Teddy's endorsement of Obama, where he deplored the politics of distortion and dishonesty.  However, the Clinton dirty trick machine has been running full throttle and I did not see the Left standing up against these tactics when they were used against a respected Judge, Kenneth Starr, who diligently investigated their assorted crimes and misdeeds.  The Left made a pact with the devil 16 years ago when they nominated Satan.  After losing 7 out of 10 Presidential elections, they decided that they would exchange their principles for victory.  The Clinton's and the Left-wing Elites are a perfect marriage of moral and intellectual dishonesty and it is far too late for them to make amends.  As for campaigns of distortion and dishonesty, is Teddy ready to make amends for the way he savaged a respected jurist who rightfully deserved a seat on the United States Supreme Court?  Judge Robert Bork was one of the many victims of the Left-wing Stalinist attack machine and I'm afraid that Obama is going to have to do a lot more than kiss the ring of a fat left-wing hack whose father was a Nazi sympathizer who stole the 1960 election from Richard Nixon.

Unlike the cretins of the Democrat Party, American Idol provides hope and no one is left victimized by the auditions, even those bearing gifts and swishing through the corn fields of Omaha.  Indeed, I refer to 25 year-old Chris Bernheisel who did not get a ticket to Hollywood after that dreadful rendition of Since You've Been Gone, but did get a job at Fox 42 on the Red Carpet for the finale.  Who would have thought that Idol would have given birth to the next Perez Hilton?  Chris "exploded with happiness," cried and thanked the judges for giving Omaha a chance. Hillary Clinton said yesterday in Florida where she violated another promise not campaign, "I'm a gutter-ball bowler."  Unlike that vile crook, the Producers of Fox never get down in the gutter and try to slime their opponents or sick private detectives on woman that your philandering pardon pimping husband sexually abused.  Fox provides hope to those in the heartland daring to dream.

The Judges gave Jason Rich four tries to get it together for his audition as he forgot the words to his song due the tremendous strain this competition places on the hopes and dreams of these young hopefuls reaching for a better tomorrow.  Jason got a ticket to Hollywood and no longer will be working for his girlfriend's father as a farm-hand.  However, if he freezes like that in Hollywood, I'm afraid he'll end up like John Edwards, who finally decided to end his quest for the White House.  I guess not even the ignorant masses of the Democrat Party were falling for his routine about wanting to stop poverty.  Many of the primary voters must have been put out of work after he bankrupted companies with his frivolous lawsuits and his made-up tragedies about his wife's illness.  If she was so sick, how could she be running around the country trying to grasp power with the same gusto as Hillary while raising three kids?  Good riddance to bad rubbish with nice hair!!!

Paula who also has nicely coiffed hair arrived late for the auditions after a delay in her flight, but arrived just in time to arm-wrestle Rachael Wicker.  She even took down Seacrest, which shocked me since Ryan is so Stallone-like.  As for her performance, it was just a'right for me and I don't think America is going to embrace an arm-wrestling tomboy as the next Idol. Perhaps, she can join Sarah Whitaker on the Red Carpet at the Finale as well.  Sarah's evil laugh and former position as Lady Moore, the professional wrestler, certainly qualified her as circus act, but this competition wants none of this nonsense.  Simon once again astutely noted that her performance was the "soundtrack for this town."  As for Seacrest standing in for Paula as a judge, that is like some hag-like wife trying to ride her husbands coattails into the White House.  What an absolute spectacle!! America will not tolerate it.

I'm also quite skeptical that America is going to embrace Samantha Sidely's timid performance of Norah Jones' I Don't Know Why.  She did have a nice tone, but not enough gusto to capture the hopes and dreams of an American public yearning for an Idol who will make us proud and heal the divisions created by the hateful and corrupt politics of a couple who will do anything and say anything in order to once again illegitimately hold on to power. 

Angelica Puente also got a ticket to Hollywood after forcing America to listen to another hopeful mimicking the French-Canadian migraine, Celine Dion.  Her rendition of the Power of Love was good enough, but I don't buy her story about the moving out from her father's house.  If Daddy was so horrible, what was she doing balling like Hillary in the New Hampshire primaries about how much she loved him?  You can't cry your way to Hollywood or the White House.  America demands sincerity, not crocodile tears. 

David Cook, on the other hand, tried to grab the mantle of Daughtry and got a ticket to Hollywood for a Bon Jovi rendition, Living on a Prayer, that was good, but he was no Chris Daughtry.  I also wondered how someone wearing an argyle sweater would be mistaken for a rocker, rather than Blake Lewis.  He also said that he came to the auditions at the behest of his friends who wanted the best for him.   Poor naive sap.  I could not agree with Simon more.  No friends want the best for you.  Johnny Escemelia, on the other hand, will have no problem being mistaken as a reincarnated Liberace without the boundless talent.  His gold lame jacket was so disturbing that it caused Paula to hiccup, which triggered Simon to call her a disgusting pig. 

The show ended with Leo Marlowe who hailed from a small town in Iowa of 200 people.  His momma may view him as the "Perfect Homecoming Queen," but the judges loved his rendition of a Song for You.  He certainly was no manly man like Clay Aiken, but he did have a good voice and may go far in this competition. 

Tonight, we will be down in Miami, Florida where property values dropped by 20% last year.  Why is that once the Democrats took control of Congress, the economy starts tanking?  America needs to wise up and realize that our Shining City on the Hill may fall into the ash heap of history if the far radical left is given another opportunity to destroy the pristine majesty of the America. 

Until Miami,

Maniac - - out

The Idol - Charleston Blues

American Idol is like cotton; it is the fabric of our lives and fills our homes with the joys of song and hopes for a better tomorrow.  Like poppy fields and lazy summer days, this competition restores our faith in an America that offered the promise of a new yesterday of gossamer breezes and skies blanketing us with an azure hue.  Indeed, every time I watch this show no matter how boring and uninspiring like last night, I get a warm feeling in my belly and a pang in my heart that is reminiscent of the days when America was that Shining City on the Hill run by a great man of principles and integrity.  When Ronald Reagan left the White House, America stood proud by its flag and mourned the loss of a man who brought freedom to millions that withstood the totalitarian and murderous regimes that were so admired by the Left.  It's hard to believe that these Elites still want to bring this Utopian experiment to the heartland of America by means of social engineering of our families, tinkering with a free market economy by means of gimmicks, and unnecessary regulation of our environment based on junk science theories.

The promise of America is facing dark, cold winters as duplicitous and depraved forces trample through the state of South Carolina with their dirty trick machine that will stop at nothing to seize power again in a miraculous rise from the political grave yard.  Let's hope America does not forget what really happened in the 1990s, where a false economy roared forth based on Enron-like accounting that projected budget surpluses that evaporated over night.  Lets also not forget that when that vile crew left the White House, they stole furniture, vandalized the Executive Offices of the President, dispensed pardons like Halloween candy, corrupted the campaign finance system and left our mighty shores vulnerable to attack by the Islamofacists.  Since leaving this country in such sorry shape and cheapening its moral fabric, Clinton has made million of dollars by selling off the stature of his office, much of which came from interests in Dubai.  Why is it that the fat stupid left-wing Hollywood hack, Michael Moore, hasn't looked into that angle in one of his movies?  By the way, ha ha ha ha, fatty!  How did Sicko do at the box office.  That's right, we all think Cuba offers better health care than the United States. 

While our great country founders on the precipice, so does American Idol.  The auditions last night provided meager talents and left me scratching my ahead about what has happened to the land that gave us Bo Bice, Ruben Studdard, Fantasia, Taylor and so many other Idol luminaries.  Instead, it was slim pickings, which at times got Simon so frustrated that he started to show his flair for nastiness.  But, there was certainly not enough of it for me.

The show started with Raysharde Henderson, who deemed himself the black Clay Aiken.  He also seemed to relish his unemployed status and, therefore, must be a Democrat since they like nothing better than living on the dole.  Would Clay ever butcher I Can't Make You Love Me like that?  Indeed not!!  Clay, instead, is now performing in Spamalot on Broadway gracing New Jersey Housewives with his manly talents.  I don't know about you, but I'm sick of all these stories about Clay's preferences. These abominable lies must stop.  Why would his first album be called Measure of Man if Clay happened to be a little light in the loafers?

Following Raysharde, we were treated to a waitress from our Pickle's hometown.  But the analogy stopped there as this schlumpy dumpy disaster, DeAnna Prevatte was no Kellie Pickler. What an unmitigated disaster!  DeAnna better start thinking about improving her attitude so that her tips are better on All You Can Eat Sunday as the judges rightly decided to pass after she butchered Fancy.  How dare she even attempt to take such a classic like that, particularly after the Pickle made that song her own in Season 5. At least we got some clips of the Pickle from her famous Puck N' Pickle skit, not mention her video of Red High Heels.  That made last night worthwhile, not to mention Randy Stark and Crystal Ortiz who found love at the auditions after meeting by a trash can via the Idol message boards.  Unfortunately, America didn't need to see those two swap spit or perform.

Frankly, I so hope that Amy Katherine Flynn gives those two a STARS lecture since the last thing we need is those two reproducing.  Amy got sent to Hollywood with a stern warning from Simon about her "annoyance" factor.   Does Amy really believe that having back door sex somehow gives her the right to claim she is chaste?  Simon aptly noted that after a few weeks in Hollywood, her abstinence credo will be done with.  Frankly, I don't buy the whole gimmick.  I bet that girl has been banging the entire football team in one sitting as has Jeffrey Lampkin. He and his sister, Michele, got a golden ticket, but they were not good enough for Hollywood. America has proven in the past that having a little meat on your bones will not prevent one from going far in this competition, but looking like clownish butterballs would be too much for us to withstand. 

Not only that, who believed that contrived routine by Oliver Highman and his pregnant wife?  They even had video clips of their car trip to the Hospital.  Emma Grace was a beautiful girl, but the Producers must be mad if they think America would fall for such a stunt.  After wasting all that time, you would think Oliver would have gotten a golden ticket after his performance of Get Here.  Frankly, I was a little surprised since he was not that bad, particularly compared to London Weidberg, who exploited her father who died of cancer in exchange for a golden ticket.

Unlike America's most notorious ambulance chaser, John Edwards, London was a lot more effective exploiting a family tragedy for personal gain. She, like Edwards, had pretty hair, but I guess America is more amenable to blonds than a botoxed buffoon who made millions fleecing companies with frivolous lawsuits and then avoided paying Medicare taxes on his spoils.  It is a good thing that Edwards has now turned his attention to helping the poor.  I'm sure all those millions he earned at a hedge fund are really going to make a difference for those struggling to put food on the table.

I also wondered why the judges dissed Lyndsey Goodman.  The woman flies C-17's and was not that bad.  Her rendition of Black Velvet and her back story should have been good enough as America loves a our troops who serve our country honorably, unlike that draft-dodging, pot-smoking, pardon pimping, Lincoln Bedroom selling adulterer who lied under oath, got impeached and debased his office. 

After two weeks of hoping for Simon to show his fangs, we finally got a taste of that when he trashed Aretha Codner's "ugly blue dress" and "big belt."  The Internet is already filled with stories of Simon's attack, but I have nothing but respect for this man from across the pond.  Whoever thought of naming this woman after Aretha Franklin should consider a name change. As for Joshua Boson, he should be put in a bag, stoned and thrown off a cliff.  How dare he accuse the Producers of rigging this show?  This competition is a meritocracy and he murdered Jennifer Hudson's signature song. He wasn't even good enough for a tawdry cabaret performance at a transvestite bar on the wrong side of town.  Good riddance Joshua as he sucked even more so than Monica Lewinsky.

Let's hope next week is the end of the auditions.  I have seen enough of these and look forward to Hollywood week, where the real dynamics of this august competition comes into play.

Until next week,

Maniac

      

The Idol - Surf, Sun and Death

In San Diego, CA, the show started with a "very warm welcoming from Grandpa Bob," as noted by my junior blogger.  Indeed,12,000 hopefuls passed through the revolving door of fame grasping for that golden ticket to Hollywood, but only 30 made it through.  Oh, what a fickle world we live in where young lives are snuffed out by the darkness that lurks in the alley's of Hollywood, which is run by the radical far-left.  Should it surprise us that once again a young life was snuffed out by drugs?  Who could survive in such a vile culture run by elitists who want to bring their soiled view of humanity back to the White House as evidenced by the money they have poured into the dynamic duo of depravity's recent audacious power grab.

The cemeteries are littered with those impacted by Hollywood values, most notably Dana Plato, who started a promising career on Different Strokes only to be found dead in a motel room later.  Now, Heath Ledger is gone, leaving his young daughter fatherless, which will make all the feminists happy.  After all, the feminist onslaught has consistently declared males irrelevant unless they are philandering, sexually harassing, lying, rapists like former President Pudge.  How many more people must be destroyed by this Hollywood machine before America starts getting smart about these flesh peddlers who traffic in false hopes.

Unlike most of the low down dirty dogs of the Hollywood establishment where a wife beating scumbag, Sean Penn, are embraced, American Idol still provides us with a beacon of hope that someday, somewhere will find that new fresh face who is ready to fill our lives with the gift of song.  Despite all the dirty-dealings I read about in the papers where the Left has wrongly declared our economy as moribund, I began to feel that perhaps Season 7 is not the end of this august competition.

Carly Smithson, despite her tattoo faced husband who looked like the Lion King, was the first hopeful I have seen who touched my heart and set me soaring for the stars with an outstanding rendition of I'm Every Woman.   She made it to Hollywood in Season 5, but got thrown out of the competition due to Visa problems.  After all, unlike the devils that run Corporate Amerika with slave labor from Third World Countries, the Fox Network will not tolerate illegal immigration.  I think Idol Ink is going to go far this season and I can't wait to see more of her, now that this Irish lass has taken the trouble to learn the English language and embrace American values.

Furthermore, as an Italian-American who ancestors were exported to this country against our will to be exploited by Corporate Amerika, I can totally identify with Irish who were also uprooted from their homeland and forced to come to this unfamiliar land so that the White People could use us for manual labor.  But like Barack Obama, my people and the Irish were uppity enough to stand up to the oppressive power structure of this country and make our own way.  However, unlike the Junior Senator from Illinois, we were not up against a corrupt crime family who will stop at nothing to win power including race baiting, lies, illegal campaign fund raising and every other dirty trick in their arsenal of despair and manipulation. I often said that when the White Liberals are confronted with a credible African-American who threatens their patronizing hold over that voting bloc, they will do all they can to keep them down and subservient.  Should it surprise us that this would be occurring in a Democratic primary for President?  After all, the Democrats did found the KKK and Bill Clinton got his start in politics interning for a segregationist, Senator J. William Fulbright.

Unlike these scum, Perrie Cataldo was a man of honor who got sent to Hollywood in order to provide a better life for his young son, Evian.  This was another heart breaking Idol moment where we learned that Evian's mother passed away tragically.  Despite this, Perrie pushed forward as a single father and made America proud with his rendition of I'll Make Love to You.   Another strong male performance came from Michael Johns, a man from Down Under with some pretty strong vocals.  He could very well make it to the finals, unless he is corrupted by the same dark forces that brought down Heath Ledger.

In light of the dark times we live in, Idol also showcased Alberto Hurtado, who sang an original song Live, which made me want to die. Paula may have loved his fans, but I could not agree with my junior blogger more, who quipped "This is not Buddha Idol."  The heart on his sleeve was quite the touch, but the judges would have none of it.  I don't care how many flowers Alberto sniffs, the last thing America needed was the revelation of his soul through song.  I hope his audition helped to free Alberto from his demons, but it left America in a coma.

Equally notable and disturbing was 11 time loser Blake Boshnack.  How many times do you have to be humiliated before you realize that your stage mother is a total bitch?  Leslie suggested that Idol was a part of her and she has driven her son around the country in a vain attempt to get his meager talents noticed.  She should get a parent of the year award from the Brittany Spears Foundation for Children or the Danny Bonaduce Defense Fund.

Some other notables hopefuls included Tatiana, who did not impress Simon with here rendition of Someone to Walk Over Me.  However, she did get a ticket to Hollywood, most likely due to her blond hair and good looks.  As for the formerly vocally paralyzed David Archuleta, I started to scream when the judges voted him through.  He was 16 and sang the anti-war creed, Waiting on the World to Change.  Do I need to spell it out for them?  S-A-N-J-A-Y-A!!!!  He also butchered that song and the comparisons are aptly noted.  Those buffoons at VotefortheWorst must be creaming in their pants about this guy. 

On the other hand, Samantha Musa also came off strong with her rendition of Until You Come Back.  She was very cute and had an excellent audition, but I started to get a little creeped out by her tag-along sister.  Samantha should get the DVD of Whatever Happened to Baby Jane, starring Bette Davis and Joan Wire Hangers Crawford.  As for those who deserved a beating with a wire hanger, I would recommend best friends, Monique Gibson and Christopher Baker.  It is bad enough when they sing Whitney Houston well, let alone butcher it.

We return to Dixie on Wednesday with a visit to Charleston, South Carolina.  How ironic that Idol is once again giving a voice to those who dare to dream in the same place where the Democrat Party establishment is doing anything it can to stop Obama from winning the primary including lies and smears that make the National Enquirer and the New York Times look like beacons of truth.    

Until Charleston,

Maniac - - out

                  

Idol Does Dallas

Well, the ratings for the Philly show are in and things don't look promising.  Idol viewership declined to the levels of Season 4.  The Producers of this show need to do all they can to steady the ship as do our failed leaders in Washington, DC.  America is heading in the wrong direction where the Government is being used as a vehicle to dispense compassion to the dispossessed.  Talk of a health care crisis has stoked fears among average Americans that are unfounded.  Statistics are being distorted by the Left in order to once again make a power grab at a huge sector of our free market economy.  Like global warming, this is a huge hoax and must be stopped.  America does not need the invisible hand of the Nanny State to make our lives better.  Nor does America need a competition where judges of this competition play nice with misfits who should be showered with insults and ridicule.

Indeed, I refer to our muted Simon Cowell, who has spent more time hugging and consoling hopefuls, rather than berating them with his brutal British wit.  I understand that some think this is what America wants, but they are sadly mistaken.  Simon quipped in Philadelphia that he didn't understand why Americans seemed so happy to see other people succeed.  What is he thinking?  How many people stop and gawk when their is a traffic accident or fist fight?  I certainly do and often enjoy seeing others fail miserably.  For example, nothing is giving me more pleasure than the demise of the Clinton crime family at the hands of an untested man whose name rhymes with Osama.  So I would humbly suggest that Simon needs to step up his game and give America what it wants.  Everyone loves a good train wreck as noted by the travails of the Spears family.  By the way, get thee to a nunnery Jamie Lynn.  What an unrepentant hussy!!  Instead of Zoey 101, it should be called Hoey 101. 

In Dallas last night, we saw many clips about our first Idol, Kelly Clarkson.  It made me long for the days when this competition provided us with innumerable talent that seemed as boundless as the promise of America.  However, I was somewhat disappointed with the hopefuls so far.  There were no stand-out performances.  But what they lacked in talent, was filled with a plethora of pretty blonds.  Last season, I bitterly complained about the lack of blonds like Kellie Pickler in the final 12, but this year I don't think that is going to be a problem as noted by the first audition of the night, Jessica Brown.  She may be a stay-at-home mom today, but in the past, she was meth addict with mug shots that would have made Jessica Sierra proud.  Who would have thought it would have taken Jesus Takes the Wheel to save her. Carrie Underwood, another Idol luminary, is providing not only the gift of song, but inspiration to those needy and desperate enough to turn to pharmaceuticals to get them through the day.  I will say that I enjoyed Jessica's performance of I'll Stand By You and even got chills.  Assuming she stays away from the Viper Club when she gets to Hollywood, she may go far. 

An arrogant wannabee, Aliana Whitaker, also appeared before the judges and had the audacity to suggest that Carrie Underwood looked like her.  How dare she besmirch one of the most successful Idols!  Simon rightfully slapped her down with a half-hearted ticket to Hollywood.  My junior blogger aptly noted that "this lady will not have a good career.  She is too young and will end up like Stephanie Edwards."

That may not be the case with one-eye, Kayla Dawn Hatfield, who got mixed reviews from the judges despite her survival skills after a terrible car accident.  She is going to Hollywood, but will not be posted on the wall like Jordin Sparks, as noted my junior blogger.  I also have to take issue with Simon who let his lascivious nature get the better of him when he suggested that Kady Malloy was the "best so far."  She was certainly good, but her impersonation of Brittany Spears seemed really stupid since this is a family show. As if America needs any more of that unfit mother.  Another hot blond, Angela Reilly, made an absolute fool of herself.  Her new husband and male model, Chad, assisted the judges in mocking this pathetic performance. If I were Angela, I would be filing for divorce. 

Simon seems not only to be fascinated with blonds with ample bosoms, but also kinky looking girls like Pia Easley who reminded me of a thin Frenchie, but her pipes were not all that.  Nina Shaw, who was from Kelly's hometown, impressed Randy and Paula, but Simon found her "old-fashioned."  Simon was wrong about Kelly and he may be about Nina, but her song choice, Run To You, was highly questionable.  Hearing another Whitney Houston song at this competition is like listening to the socialists of the Democrats promising economic security by means of high taxes, increased regulations, unlimited government spending, lax law enforcement and a weak-kneed foreign policy that leaves us vulnerable to being slaughtered by Islamofacists. 

There were some total freaks last night such as the last performer, Rinaldo, whose outfit would have made Elton John proud.  He even wrote his own song, We're Brothers Forever, which had prose that would have made James Joyce's work look like a third grader's essay. At least he got a hug from Simon and a dance with Paula and Randy.  Along with Rinaldo, America was also treated to a sweaty park attendant, Paul Stafford, who was a member of the roller coaster enthusiasts club.  Paula may have found him "joyful," but I think dreadful, ghastly and ridiculous is more appropriate.  What a dufus!!  He probably could have improved his chances if he had borrowed some guy-liner from Kyle Reinneck, the hard-core rocker with too much spray tan and not enough testosterone.  Do you Idol Kyle?  I think not.  I'm sure like Bruce Dickson, Kyle has never kissed girl.

Bruce did not get to Hollywood even though his voice was not that bad.  Perhaps the judges were put off by the fact that at 19, he was not only saving himself for marriage, but he has not even swapped spit with the opposite sex at the behest of his domineering Daddy. The key necklace that he held for the woman he would spent his life with and his Dad holding the heart part reminded me of the Deliverance.  Isn't there a difference between Texas and Appalachia?  But don't worry Bruce.  If the Democrats take control, you and Daddy will be able to marry since the Left likes nothing better than to trample upon America's moral fiber with their relativist views and cultural depravity as evidenced by Hollywood's loving embrace of their cause.

Before the Democrats take over and weaken our law enforcement so that criminals can roam free while the social workers work on resolving the root causes of crime, we might want to get the FBI involved in genetically testing that that bag of nails Brandon Green had in his back pocket.  I have a funny feeling that many missing persons will be found after such tests.  The dim witted judges didn't see the dangers of letting this guy roam around the young hopefuls in Hollywood, even though his performance of Rich Girl was truly forgettable as noted by Simon.  What is wrong with Randy and Paula?  Don't bother to answer since we are all aware of their deficiencies after watching them each season. 

Another interesting choice for Hollywood was the geek politician, Kyle Ensley, who actually had such low expectations, that the judges could not help but enjoy his Somebody to Love rendition. He has pledged to the judges that Idol was more important than being a politician.  Unlike most people, the judges seemed to buy into his promise.  Who would be stupid enough to ever accept anything that comes out of a politician's mouth?  I guess they must have fond memories of the 90's when the President of the United States lied about everything, stole furniture from the White House, auctioned burial sites at Arlington Cemetery for campaign contributions, pardoned tax cheats and terrorists, debased his office and got impeached and disbarred.

Unlike that sorted crowd, Drew Poppelrieter, the cowboy and farmer, who had never been on a plane got a ticket to Hollywood over Simon's objections.  Simon just doesn't understand the appeal of country music and down home charm. I think this guy may go far.  He had the appeal of the heartland that the Elites can't appreciate, but America will love it.  Rather than running around Hollywood with no underpants while abandoning your children to a gold-digging dirt bag, this guy would make America proud. 

Next week, our journey will take us to San Diego.  I have to admit that my excitement is rising about this Season.  Although the ratings are down and peril lurks for all of us, I believe that the Fox Network still has many tricks up its sleeve that can save us from the onslaught that is creeping forward like a black widow spider.

Until next week,

Maniac - - out    

The Idol - Is this the Beginning of the End?

As we return for another year of this little competition that could, dark storm clouds hover above America.  Evil forces are not only undermining what is pure and right about this competition, but the entire fabric of this Shining City on the Hill we like to call America.  Once again, Lord Voldermort and his gutless hag, Bellatrix Lestrange, are criss-crossing the country in an effort to regain power after having been set to the curb with stolen furniture in the year 2000.  With the help of the Death Eaters (white elitist liberals) and Dementors (feminists, unions and other assorted Beatnik Radicals), they just might succeed, which would mean an end to America as we know it.  We could be on the verge of the Apocalypse and not even the promise of a new season of Idol can stop this catastrophe.  Furthermore, the Idol brand has been seriously weakened by last years less than stellar cast of hopefuls.  Not only was the artistry of this competition compromised by Sanjaya and the cadre of crying girls who supported him, but what was the point of Gina, Haley and Brandon?  As a consequence of this spectacle, Idol has been damaged and limps to Season 7, just like the U.S. Economy, which once again is heading down after the Democrats seized control of Congress in 2006 with false promises and warmed-over socialism.

The evidence of decline is everywhere.  The Idol summer tour, sponsored by Pop Tarts, had only 68% attendance, Jordin's CD is not selling well, and Ruben, McPhee and Taylor have all been dropped from their record label.  Let's not even talk about My December.  It still pains me to think of Kelly Clarkson falling from grace.  It is as unspeakable as seeing an American President who cries when the going gets rough.  Do you think Jessica Sierra cried when she was sent to rehab pregnant?  I think not.  Our hopefuls are steadfast in the face of adversity as evidenced by some of the hard luck stories we witnessed last night in the season opening of this august competition.   

Like it or not, change is coming and we witnessed evidence of a softer Idol.  Instead of highlighting goblins, ghouls and freaks like the Democrat Party, the first night of auditions showcased some hard luck stories and promising talent from the City of Brotherly Love.  Sure, we did have to withstand Ben Narr's hair removal and flabby posterior not to mention Star Wars Girl, Christina Tolisano.  Please take Simon's advice.  Get her a wookie!!  That waxing scene still makes me wince.  But, wasn't it all worthwhile watching Temptress Browne butcher Jennifer Hudson's signature song.  I'm sorry her mother was too fat to stand, but that's not our problem.  Get your ass off the stretcher and take a walk Momma!  Self-destruct with too much Wendy's and Taco Bell and we are expected to want you in Hollywood.  I think NOT!!!  How about Jenny Craig?  Look how much the program helped Valerie Bertinelli.

As for former fatties, I was glad to see that the first person showcased as going to Hollywood was an Italian-American.  Indeed, Joey Catalono did himself proud losing 200 pounds, but I'm not sure his rendition of Maroon 5 was all that.  He is no Blake Lewis.  Neither was Milo Turk who sang his signature song, No Sex Allowed.  Hopefully, he will stick to that creed since the last thing America needs is progeny from a 39 year-old social worker. 

Angela Martin did not need help from the Nanny State in taking care of her disabled daughter with retts syndrome.  Her family stood together in the face of adversity and tore at America's heart strings with a hard luck story that even touched my grinch-like heart.  I'll admit to this and I know you will be shocked to hear it, but I was ready to make fun of her daughter since nothing is sacred as far as I'm concerned.  But when I heard Angela sing and saw the way her friends and family pulled together to help her young child who faced daunting odds, I knew that the American spirit was alive and well.   What a touching melodrama.  This is what America wants, not to mention the fact that Angela was very nice looking.

Even more attractive and a very good performance was kick-boxing hottie, Kristy Lee Cook.  Amazing Grace is so overused and her background story ruined what otherwise could have been a potential hot hopeful.  For me, she was just too perfect unlike America's favorite country girl, Kellie Pickler.  But that said, this is a vast improvement over last season where a No Neck background singer and Gina Glocksen were in the Top 12.  Speaking of that, what in God's name were the judges thinking with Melanie Nyema.  A background singer for Taylor Hicks?  Are they kidding us?  She sounded like Hillary Clinton pretending not to inflame racial tensions in order to seize power.

Crazy woman seemed to be flowing over last night, such as Alexis Cohen and her tough as nails mother.  She truly needs assistance from a professional.  Calling Milo!!  You finally have a case you can work on.  But how would you tolerate sharing a studio apartment in Allentown with that mother, not to mention two cats and a dog.  Remove the glitter from your eyes Alexis and wake-up.  American Idol does not need a foul-mouthed gutter snipe.  We want hopefuls who have never been to R-rated movies like Brooke White.  Give me a break.  It will only be a matter of time before the sex tapes gets leaked to the media and we'll find that Brooke's real name is something like Shayna Blue.

As for the judges, it was good to see them back in full form and Simon was charming as usual with nipples proudly displayed.  He made America proud with his pithy remarks.  However, if he truly was a British Gentleman, he would have done something about Paula's stalker, Paul Marturano.  What a deeply disturbing moment, but nowhere near as dismaying as James Lewis' rendition of Go Down Moses. Let's hope he does not sing that way when he is showing people around Philly in his capacity as a tour guide.  America deserves to appreciate the Liberty Bell and other symbols of freedom without such a travesty. By the way, I think there is something sacrilegious about a song where Moses goes down.

At the end, I felt uplifted by the promise of Season 7.  I laughed, cried and shook my head.  But in the end, I could still see the promise of this competition.  America still stands strong as does Idol with a cast of hopefuls that will fill our hearts with the hopes and dreams of this God-fearing nation.  Tonight, we will be in Kelly Clarkson's hometown, Dallas, for more auditions.  I simply can't wait.

Until then,

Maniac - - out

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