America offers a beacon of hope for those yearning to be free. What better place for Idol than the teeming shores of Miami where thousands have risked their lives to escape the Leftist Utopia of Cuba for the boundless opportunity and freedom that this Shining City on the Hill offers to those who want to work hard, take responsibility for their lives and reach to the next rung in this haven of limitless dreams of a better tomorrow. Indeed, the Producers of Fox clearly relished the opportunity to help Miami shine, while the Party of the Left has used this state as a means for armed Federal thugs to send young children into the arms of dictator who has slaughtered, imprisoned and tortured those who had the audacity to hope. Florida is also another example of the Left's playground for subverting the electoral process of this great Nation.
Florida does not also offer hope on its beautiful shores of its beaches, but in the dark corners of the everglades one of the most corrupt Attorney Generals in American History lurks. Indeed, I refer to the hideous Janet Reno, who ordered gun-toting thugs into the home of Cuban-American citizens who wanted to provide their nephew, Elion Gonzalez, the freedoms of America. Elion's mother died trying to provide a better life for him, yet that didn't matter to thugs of the Clinton administration who see more virtue in Castro, than America's greatest 20th Century President President, Ronald Wilson Reagan. This horrid old maid not only destroyed Elion's life, she also ordered the slaughter at Ruby Ridge and killed 80 people at the Branch Davidian Compound. Of course the Left turned a blind eye to this, yet screeched for months about Alberto Gonzalez. Reno was behind the firing of 80 US Attorneys, two of which where investigating the rampant corruption of the Democrat Party during that dark era of a false economy. Not only that, she buried the campaign finance corruption investigations of her boss, President I Like To Steal Furniture.
Florida not only reminds me of that horrid shrew, but also the bloated Nobel Prize winner who likes to denounce America on foreign shores while enriching himself through pimping his hoax about global warming. The Miami Herald and USA Today counted the votes in Florida as Al Gore requested and he still lost, yet the Left continues with the delusion of stolen elections. It is they who are practitioners of subverting the electoral process as noted by Hillary's attempts to claim Florida delegates in violation of the rules of her party. As for Gore, why doesn't he try to invent a solution for his overblown ego, not to mention waistline, as he did with the Internet. I don't know about you, I would prefer my Vice President to remain huddled in an underground bunker only to emerge to get a jump-start at the local Hospital before going on hunting trips for some target practice on friends. For the record, I would rather go hunting with Dick than ever getting in a car with a Kennedy. By the way Patrick, do you have an Ambien? I barely slept last night. I guess we will cross that bridge when we come to it.
In Miami, Idol showcased the bikini-clad bodies to the theme song for Miami Vice, which was in stark contrast to Omaha, where a young and rotund woman was showcased wearing a Tee-shirt that said "I Beat Anorexia." Speaking of spending too much time at the all you can eat buffet at Stuckey's, did anyone notice Ryan Seacrest's emerging pot belly? He must either be dining with Randy Jackson or has become the next celebrity with a baby bump. A shout out to Gwen Stefani, an Italian-America icon who announced she was with child. As a former guest judge from Season 6, we hold this pop diva in great regard for talent and grace.
I wish I could say the same for the meat grinder, Shannon McCough, who may have won singing competitions as a youth, but she was a shocking disappointment. She was cute and promising before she opened her mouth to butcher a song in the same manner she handled meat products at her parent's Deli. What an unmitigated disaster. I guess I should have seen that coming when he showcased her burping skills. She sounded like Clinton after he got through with one of his many trips to MacDonald's for a low-fat meal. I can still recall when Madam DeFarge fired the White House Chef, along with the loyal employees of the Travel Office, so that she could set a good example for America with low-fat meals. Even what they eat is a fraud since Hillary's hips remind me of the son of flubber while Bill's heart got so clogged with lard that he needed a quadruple by-pass. It's too bad America's health care system wasn't overhauled by Hillary after all. But for that, former President Pudge may have been in the fires of hell where he belongs race baiting, raping, stealing, pardoning and lying. Not only did he debase his office, this guy would also ruin Hell's reputation.
Unlike that failed fraud of despair, Robbie Carrico got a ticket to Hollywood after a pretty good performance before the judges. But, this former boy band star was not as good as he thought and it troubled me that he wore a ski hat in Miami, where the temperatures sore. What was he hiding under that hat? I ask an analogous question about Hillary when she wears a skirt. My guess is that she is hiding male genitals Thus, all those feminist who want the first female President may be in for a big surprise on Inauguration Day when she wipes away the pounds of make-up and we notice her five-o-clock shadow. Speaking of the man-hating Left, the National Organization of Woman condemned Ted Kennedy for endorsing Obama. I guess they rather support a he/she President who enabled her husband to rape, sexually harass and debase woman in the Oval Office. I guess feminist principles only apply to Republicans like Senator Bob Packwood who they chased out of office for sexual harassment not to mention one of our greatest Supreme Justice, Clarence Thomas, who was also victimized by the racist Left-wing attack machine who only want to see black men who act like circus clowns via Al Sharpton, the race-baiting poverty pimp.
In Omaha, rumors were swirling that Paula once again was relieving her "chronic pain" with pills and alcohol, but in Miami, she was satisfying another vice when she cozied up to Ghaleb Emachah. He tried to perform Marc Anthony and the judges voted him through to Hollywood, perhaps in honor of J. Lo who was another esteemed mentor from last season. However, in America's living rooms, we scratched our heads since his performance was horrible. I guess unlike the Democrats, the judges did not want to send him back to his home that is ruled by the dictator Chavez.
Paula was not the only one who was getting her groove on last night. Randy, Simon and Ryan both got some lovin' from Corliss Smith and Brittany Wescott. Randy seemed mesmerized as Corliss sashayed towards him. On the other hand, Simon seemed unimpressed, but both Corliss and Brittany got tickets to Hollywood. I expected both of them to stink, but even I kind dug their performances. I guess like Randy, Maniac likes back as the two of them were good-sized women.
In the commercial breaks before Suzanne Toon performed, we were greeted with political commercials from Obama and Evita Clinton. When my junior blogger noticed them, she proclaimed "You should be scared; he's a Democrat." Not only that, our kitty jumped for her life when the ugly head of socialism reared its head in the middle of this august competition. As for Suzanne's rendition If I Can't Make You Love Me, it was powerful and well received by the judges. She was a single mom whose career was derailed when she found out she was pregnant at 18. But Idol offered hope to this hopeful and set her back on track. She certainly deserved such an accolade for choosing life for her daughter, rather than killing her baby in the abortion mills that were founded by an avowed racist, Margaret Sanger.
Following Suzanne, we got a blast from the past with a Jasmine Trias wannabee, Ramiele Maluby. She was hot and had the audacity to tackle Natural Woman. Frankly, she made America proud and could go much further than Jasmine. Although a lovely girl, I will never forgive Jasmine for the way she destroyed All By Myself in Season 3.
Syesha Mercado showed up with her father who just graduated from rehab. He could barely speak about his daughter who he knew he had disappointed by choosing drugs over her for so many years. Unlike the indulgent Hollywood losers, at least this man is making an effort to clean himself up. Syesha's performance of Think did entail over-singing, but she definitely had potential to make this competition better for all us, unlike the hacks of the Left who think a bridge back to the 20th Century will save America from its current course. Indeed, Obama noted yesterday that Hillary is a "divisive" candidate. Duh. It's about time he noticed. I guess that is what happens when you are educated in left-wing Ivy League intellectual gulags where Professors view Americans as deserving of slaughter by Islamofacits.
Idol then showcased a number of promising hopefuls including Natashia Blach and Ilsly Pinot. Of course we then were greeted with string of freaks and losers, none disturbing enough worth mentioning, other than the overindulged Julie DuBela, who made to the Top 20 on American Juniors. For someone so young, she certainly had a lot confidence, but way too much based on her performance. She was a perfect example of what happens when soft parents coddle mediocre talent, rather than throwing cold water on their delusions. If I was her, I'd start memorizing vocabulary for the SATs as Hollywood is not for her. She didn't even know what precocious meant when Simon labeled her as such. Another fine example of what the teacher's unions have done to our education system.
The showed ended with perhaps the biggest freak of the night, Brandon Black, who thought he was funny. Paula almost jumped out of her skin when he sang I'll Make Love To You, which should highlight how bad he was since Paula always has a sweet spot for young male hopefuls as noted by her unnatural interest in that scum, Corey Clark, who tried to debase this competition with his damnable lies. America will have none of that as his CD sold about as well as John Edward's Presidential campaign went.
Next week, we will remain in Dixie with a trip to Atlanta and then off to Hollywood where this competition should start getting more interesting. By the way, I was also totally miffed that the NJ Slut did not appear in Miami. There were rumors circulating yesterday that Antonella auditioned again in Miami, but the Producers provided us no clips of such an appearance. Perhaps, they wanted to spare America from another viewing of her tawdry escapades. She may be the pride of New Jersey where former Governor McGreevey can be found at the Walt Whitman rest stop looking for a Dirty Sanchez, but America will have none of that. After all, Idol is a family show appealing to our better spirits. It isn't like the Democratic Presidential Primary where dirty tricks, electoral fraud and race baiting are the belle of the ball.
Maniac - - out