Musings of a Maniac

The Idol - Idol Gives Back But At The Same Time Rips Us Off!

After all the hype about Idol Gives Back week, I had no idea that I would waste two hours watching video taped performances, some pretty lame skits and end up with no result.  That wasn't a shocker as Cresty suggested.  It was an absolute rip-off and beneath the dignity of this competition.  Someone needed to go and now we have to wait another week.  Simply outrageous and a total distortion of the process. 70 million votes, $30 million donated and all we got was the dirty trick at the end where for one brief moment, it seemed that Jordin would be singing us out.  Simply unacceptable and I don't care that two will go next week.  I don't care that this was a charity event. 

I actually thought things were going well in America again. Rosie O'Donnell got trumped at the View and Alec Baldwin cried in an interview with her about the inequality of California divorce laws. He even suggested that he might leave the country for a while.  Finally, after all this, the child-abusing Leftist decided to fulfill his promise to leave America.  Instead of making a donation to Idol Gives Back, I think I'll be the first in line the buy him a ticket to Iran on Bin Laden Airlines.

On a more serious note, although I was disappointed by the show, I can't underestimate how heart wrenching it was to watch those video clips of children living in abject poverty.  Even the unflappable Simon broke down when he heard about 12-year old Groeman who at 12 was raising his sister Violet since both their parents died of AIDS.  Although my junior blogger quipped that Simon was just freaked out because he is used to "fancy suites," I think we finally got to see his human side.  I don't know how she became so cynical.  We also saw disturbing clips that were raw and emotional.  When young Ruth passed away and Emma suffered from the ravages of this disease, I felt compelled to make a donation, despite the fact that I had to be subjected to more than one appearance by Teri Hatcher, who looked like a transy.

If Ellen can put up $100,000, we can all do our part.  I would also like to extend a special shout out to her for guest hosting.  She certainly improved since the Oscars and it is always nice to see a sincere and honorable person who seems to care about people, unlike that horrible British wannabee.  Indeed, I refer to Madonna who video taped a message from Africa asking for our support.  I guess some people will do anything to get themselves in the news and compete with Angelina Jolie.  When will these Hollywood elites stop stealing babies from Africa?  With parenting skills like that of Alec Baldwin, these kids are better off in Africa than in the lush surroundings of the Hollywood Hills.  The dreadful Gwyneth Paltrow also did a cameo, which was a surprise.  Why would she have anything to do with a show as American as Idol?  From her recent statements, I thought she was too much of an intellectual for America.

Ryan and Simon weren't the only ones lending a hand to these unfortunates.  Paula visited the poor of LA at the Boys & Girls Club, which was run by Melba Culpepper, who seemed like the salt of the earth.  When that poor little girl cried to Paula about how her mother couldn't pay the bills, we all wept with her, except for my junior blogger who said, "So!  Where is Kelly?"  We also got treated to the Deliverance boy again, Travis, from Kentucky who was learning to read from the hill-billy handbook.  I also want give props to Paula for the way she has improved as a judge this season. She may stumble over her words at times, but she has obviously tackled the demons that have besieged her in the past. 

As for Ben Stiller, what was that all about?  I understand that he has supported the show and was even in the audience a few times in the past, but that was not funny at all.  Where was Borat when you needed him?  Wasn't he supposed to be there?  At least Jack Black was funny and as noted by Simon, his rendition of Kiss By a Rose was better than Sanjaya who was in the house with his sultry sister.

Speaking of missing celebrities, wasn't Gwen Stefani, Pink and Michael Buble supposed to be there?  Why did they promise so much, yet deliver so little?  Let's not even discuss the over-hyped and taped duet with Celine Dion.  Everyone in the free world who reads at the supermarket check-out counter knows that the King is still alive.  A shout out to Elvis!  Of course, he was fantastic and I'm glad he's finally back down to his fighting weight. As for Celine, there is nothing to say, except yuck! When Ryan was in the audience trying to explain the Star Wars-like special effects to a hapless girl, I wondered if Ashley's even dimmer little sister had gotten a ticket.         

Randy Jackson may be repetitive and silly, but his visit to the ravaged FEMA trailer park with Edna and her six kids made some great TV. Those poor kids live in a crime-ridden cesspool and no one does a thing, except for Idol.  Were is George Clooney now?  At his luxury estate in Italy?  That must have meant a lot to have an esteemed judge like Randy at your home. At the Fox network, those in need don't just get lip service.  They get special notice on America's most watched TV show.

As for the celebrity appearances, I want to note some of the highlights:

The Best Vocal of the Night:  At first I was mad as hell that Carrie wasn't there live, but her video clip established what kind of woman she is.  It was moving, gripping and beautiful.  Her performance of I'll Stand By You was better than the original.

The Best Performance by a Senior Citizen:  Although she is not Clay Aiken, Annie Lennox's soulful rendition of Bridge Over Troubled Water was like butter. She really brought down the house, unlike Earth, Wind and Fire.  Why a montage of songs?  When they started off with Boogie Wonderland, I wanted to get down, but they had to ruin it by switching to When You Wish Upon a Star and September. However, if Sanjaya really wanted to have a hair style that would have stood the test of time, the lead singer really had it going on.  But time has not been kind to these guys, which may explain why they couldn't sing a song all the way through.  At that age, it may be too hard to remember the words.

The Most Emotional Performance:  Josh Grobin's performance of You Raise Me Up, accompanied by the African Children's Choir, was powerful and there was not a dry eye in the house after that.  Those children broke my heart and filled my world with hope and joy. A shout out to Josh!  That was certainly better than when Michael Buble subbed for Tony Bennett and appeared drunk on stage. 

The Fattest Performance of the Night:  I hate to say this since I thought it was an Idol highlight when Gary Levox of Rascal Flats performed with Carrie Underwood in Season 4.  But that guy needs a trainer and the song, My Wish, stank.  They might consider re-naming the group to Rascal Fat!

Best Performance by Mannequins:  Although Il Divo was created by Simon, I found them highly disturbing.  Are they real people?  On stage, they looked like mannequins in an S&M shop on Christopher Street.  I'm still creeped out by their performance of Somewhere and hope they return to their home planet Faggdar. 

There are no words that can capture how I felt seeing Kelly Clarkson back on stage singing Up to the Mountain.  Once again, her vocals were contained, beautiful and haunting.  She infuses her music with loss and longing.  At the tender age of 25, who would have thought that this innocent country girl could capture the emotions of the night?  However, her outfit was terrible.  My junior blogger wasn't impressed at all by her and screamed at the end, "What a rip off! Not funky at all!"  But I couldn't disagree more.

The Staying Alive celebrity montage was pointless and if these Hollywood elites want to pimp their wares on the show, the least they could do is show up live.  But I guess they deserve some props for supporting this worthy cause.  I also want to extend a special shout out to Hugh Grant and some support in light of his recent arrest in London for throwing baked beans at a photographer.  Doesn't he deserve just a little privacy? 

The ever elusive guest mentor Bono appeared with the hopefuls for about three seconds and he blathered on about his message of hope.  He's just a little too self-righteous for my tastes and his song, American Prayer, wasn't all that.  The hopefuls closed the show with it, but even with the all white attire, the performance didn't move me.  Equally bland was the Quincy Jones medley of Time To Care. As I watched them perform, I thought the Brady's had returned.  At least the Ford Commercial, Crazy Little Thing Called Love, was fun.  It was one of the best ever, but it still didn't convince me to buy a mustang.  I still remember the pinto.

Next week, things will be back to normal, but with two eliminations.  At the same time, Idol touches all aspects of our life and even extends its helping hand to the less fortunate, unlike most of the Hollywood elites.  But Idol doesn't just infuse our popular culture, it also sometimes shows up on our doorsteps.  In my apartment building in NYC, Fantasia was spotted visiting a dentist's office in the lobby. I'm so excited right now I don't know what to say and she apparently will make many visits since she has dental issues.  I want to scream, but rather than disturb people, I'll just crack my tooth.  Wouldn't it be a treat to see a star like that at the Dentist?  She might even sing Summertime for me and my junior blogger.

Until next week,

Maniac - - out

 

The Idol - Compassion & Hope

Once again I'm late with my review of last nights powerful and emotionally draining show.  I apologize for the delay, but I hope that won't stop you from voting for my blog as noted by the attached links on the side panel.  Your support will be greatly appreciated and hopefully will save me from the same fate as the pretend Lesbian and Fat Slob.  Indeed, at this very moment, it has been announced that she will be leaving the View  in what is being spun as an "amicable" departure.  For those who had lost hope for a better tomorrow, this should be welcomed news.  Not only did we get rid of Sanjaya, but now the airwaves have been purged of someone who consistently attacked this show throughout the season.  But in the end, Idol beats all.  Rather than making false promises and self-righteous bromides, the Fox Network knows how to put up and, therefore, has no need to shut up.  Goodbye Fat Slob!  We will miss you and hopefully the fake billionaire who you sparred with will join you in the ash heap of popular culture where you both belong.

The theme of compassion and hope for this week was inspiring and left me with a feeling that America truly is that shining city on the hill.  Who didn't break down when Simon was shown in Africa slumped on a cart saying "this is a living hell?"  Who didn't want to write a check for these poor people when Ryan visited a feeding center? Even Paula got into the act and almost broke a nail when she attended to some of the world's unfortunate.  Although I have to admit that when Randy was spotted in New Orleans, I got a little concerned that he might grab some of the free Twinkies they were offering to the downtrodden.  But nothing captured the mood better when those two boys from Kentucky straight from central casting of the Deliverance II who declared "If you don't get an education, you ain't hardly gonna get no job."

With all this focus on the unfortunate, I was expecting Angelina Jolie to pop up, trying to snatch another child for her Bel Air orphanage, which Brad Pitt will run.  After all, she doesn't have time with her busy movie schedule to spend time raising these kids that she is commandeering for her goodwill campaign.  But let's make one thing clear, with all Angelina's hype, I hope she isn't following Sheryl Crow's demand to limit our toilet paper to one square at her orphanage to help the environment.  Haven't these children been through enough?  Even Rosie went off on her and indicated that her posterior was way too big for such a quota.  Of course, she could use a sleeve as Sheryl suggested, but I would hate to be her dry cleaner.  Furthermore, if Sheryl wants to preach at us, why doesn't she limit all her environmentally destructive demands of three tractor trailers, four buses and six cars when she tours?

We can certainly be assured that our hopefuls will not turn out to be spoiled Hollywood elites who talk the talk, but never walk the walk.  Look how well Kelly Clarkson turned out.  By the way, Happy 25th Birthday Kelly.  You still are an American Saint and no other Idol has come close, except for our country angel Carrie Underwood.  The performances tonight were all good in my opinion and it is hard to predict who will leave.  If I had my choice, it should be Chris Richardson.  But Kiki may have bitten off more than she could chew when she made the decision to take on the Queen of UGLY, Fantasia Barino.

Her rendition of I Believe left me thinking that her performance was about as credible as one of Hillary Clinton's campaign promises.  When Fantasia sang that Idol anthem, she chewed it up, spit out and left America speechless with her powerful vocals.  Unfortunately, Kiki didn't meet that standard.  However, she once again looked as good as she could.  The stylists truly have done wonders with her.  It's too bad they can't do something about the Pickle, whose transformation still has me confused and disturbed.  In the end, Kiki may be a ballsy, but you don't come to Hollywood and take on songs by Carrie and Fantasia in succession and expect America to approve.  That would be like adding a more discernible smile to the Mona Lisa.

Chris R. may think his rendition of Change the World made it seem as if he was in it to win it as suggested by Randy, the most original of all judges.  That's if you consider that three dollar bill you won in the Three Card Monte Game a coup.  His rendition was off at the beginning and screechy.  During his performance, I saw Brandon in the house and I thought how better life would have been if he had gotten his act together.  Instead of listening to a Pee-Wee Herman version of an Eric Clapton standard, I might have gotten a real performance.  A shout out to Brandon any ways!

No Neck Weezie, America's beloved Pez Dispenser, once again kicked booty with her rendition of Faith Hill's There Will Come A Day.  Not only that, her outfit was much improved and she barely even hunched as the judges lavished her with well deserved praise.  However, in the lyrics of the song, "God" was mentioned more than once.  I wonder if that might not cause a ripple among the secularists who try to drive religion out all aspects of our life.  Can't you picture the next Frank Rich editorial in the New York Times lambasting Idol for having the audacity to promote religion?  Why is it that the only religion the Left seems to tolerate is their own moral relativist perspective?  Praise the Lord that these elites have no influence other than among the Chardonnay sipping and Brie eating cognoscenti like the esteemed Alec Baldwin.         

Blake, Blake Blake!  I originally hated him with all that beat-boxing, but I have taken a liking to his performances as of late.  But his song choice made me cringe. I realize John Lennon was more authentic than the self-righteous Paul McCartney, but that still doesn't make him likable.  That free love/hippie/nudist, Yoko Ono loving, drug addicted menace is one of the most overrated artists in history.  Imagine is a terrible song and is nothing but an ode to chaos and anarchy.  I'm sure in the former Soviet Union, collectivist chants are acceptable, but not in America.  Not in this competition!  I hope America gives Blake another chance, but I'm not certain.

Phil, on the other hand, seems to be coming into his own after being in the bottom three more times than Rosie's O'Donnell sucks down Brownies in sixty second intervals.  His rendition of The Change was very good and he is beginning to find his voice.  This cone-headed crypt keeper even cleverly interjected a few personal elements about how he missed his daughters and dedicated his song to the victims of the Oklahoma City bombing.  America will like that.  He also made me think that If we had a real President in the 90's, perhaps the onslaught of terrorist attacks like Oklahoma City could have been stopped sooner.  But no such luck.

At 17 years old, Jordin is a powerhouse and hopefully will become the next American Idol  She looked beautiful last night but her performance of You'll Never Walk Alone was absolutely UGLY.  Not only did I get chills, I wept along with her after she was done.  It was one of the most emotional moments I have ever seen on this show.  It made me feel safe and secure.  No matter how bad things get, we are all in this struggle together.  Unlike that Leftist creed Imagine, Jordin sang about helping each other without interference from the Nanny State.  A shout out to Jordin!  And what a gentleman Seacrest is turning out to be!  He even let Jordin wipe away her tears with his tie, which probably cost more than America's favorite ambulance chasers, John Edwards, $400 hair cuts.

Tonight Idol Gives Back will be a star studded event with many luminaries in a two hour spectacular.  Perhaps, Bono will finally show up.  As a guest mentor, he was certainly invisible.  Where could he be?  In Dick Cheney's underground bunker?  I would have been nice to see what advice he did give our hopefuls since they did seem to shine in this Sanjaya-free stage of the competition. 

Maniac - - out

The Idol - Song Choice Spoiler

Once again, I am taking the risk of posting the song selections for the Top 6.  However, being that they have been less than accurate in the past, I would take them as seriously as I would a promise from a Democrat to clean-up the corrupt Congress.  The theme is life anthems about compassion and hope and it is rumored that Bono will be mentoring them.  Here is the list:

Chris Richardson “If I Could Change The World” by Eric Clapton.

Melinda Doolittle “There Will Come A Day” by Faith Hill.

Blake Lewis “Imagine” by John Lennon.

LaKisha Jones “I Believe” Season 3 coronation song.

Phil Stacey “The Change” by Garth Brooks.

Jordin Sparks “You’ll Never Walk Alone” from the musical “Carousel”

It should be an exciting show and I hope you all dial-in your votes in an effort to promote Idol Gives Back Week.  As another charitable gesture, I also recommend limiting your toilet paper usage to one square as suggested by Sheryl Crow.  However, don't expect a handshake after that.

Maniac - - out

Alec Baldwin - Special Non-Idol Posting

For anyone who is sick and tired of listening to self-righteous lectures from the Left-wing Hollywood elites, you should definitely hear Alec's latest rant at his 11-year old daughter who he calls a "selfish little pig" on the attached link:

http://www.tmz.com/2007/04/19/alec-baldwins-threatening-message-to-daughter

I don't think I need to say more since it speaks for itself.

Maniac - - out 

The Idol - American Outsourcing

Sorry for the delay in my posting, but last night was so stunning and emotional for those who cherish the artistry and majesty of this competition that I was lost for words.  America finally had enough with this long-running joke that was perpetrated by the likes of Stern and other assorted misfits who rather undermine the one thing in America that has remained pure and true:  American Idol.  Of course, the jealous losers of the MSM tried once again to try to bring this show down with false charges and unrelenting support for this hapless William Hung retread.

Not only did they try to prop up this foolish boy as they have with dictators like Castro, Chavez and Arafat, they tried to bring Simon down as well.  But Fox is way too smart for them and their propaganda machine.  A flap was highlighted in the media yesterday when Simon rolled his eyes after Chris Richardson sent a shout out to his friends at Virginia Tech after his withering critique.  Thanks to the marvels of technology, Simon wasn't doing any such thing.  The videos on last night's show clearly established that Simon was talking to Paula about Chris's nasal defense and that was what triggered the derisive gesture.

With his usual panache, Simon made a statement last night that was classic Cowell when he indicated that he may not be the nicest person in the world, but he wouldn't disrespect the victims of this tragedy.  Not only that, he wouldn't exploit it as the MSM and Left-wing gun control advocates have to advance their political agenda.  The son of the former Governor of New York and cuckold, Andrew Cuomo, was down in Virginia calling for strict gun control in effort to exploit this tragedy. Perhaps, if he had spent more time with his former Kennedy wife rather than exploiting tragedies in a Sharpton-like manner, she wouldn't have been stepping out on him with another man.  It is totally sickening and twisted that every time we have an event like this, we hear this prattle about gun control.  But don't we have laws that require background checks before buying a gun?  There was such a check on this troubled soul and nothing came up about how he was declared a danger to himself and others by a Virginia court?  As usual, the Left wants more laws taking away our Constitutional right to bear arms as enshrined in the Second Amendment, instead of trying to competently enforce what is already there.  Furthermore, if the students and faculty at this school had been armed, this boy wouldn't have gotten as far as he did in his murderous rampage.

At the same time these ineffectual fools are trying to take away rights explicitly provided in the Constitution, they are crying and moaning over the Supreme Court's recent decision upholding laws that prohibit partial birth-abortion.  I can cite to provisions of the Constitution for the right to bear arms, but no such parallel provision is set forth for abortion.  This decision now puts the onus on the legislative bodies to deal with abortion, rather than foisting it upon the judiciary in contradiction to our democratic system. I can't help but applaud as this decision would not have been possible with the recently appointed Justice and Italian-American, Sam Alito.

But nothing can overshadow this dramatic results show where we found Blake, Kiki and Sanjaya in the bottom three.  Ryan separated them from Chris, Phil and Jordin and then asked Weezie to decide which group was in the bottom three after declaring her safe.  Unlike last year when the Gray Butterball, Taylor, made such a choice, Melinda would have no part of it and refused to take part in this act of treachery.  Who would have thought that this no-neck Pez Dispenser has the backbone of a man like Mr. Bo Bice?  For that act of moral courage, she gets a shout out, while Taylor gets hisses and boos once again.

With an hour long results show, we were treated to a fantastic medley where the hopefuls performed I'm Alright. It was not only touching but an absolutely fantastic performance of this country hit.  I most enjoyed Kiki and Blake singing together.  It was strangely beguiling.  The Ford Commercial, I Ran, was equally entertaining, particularly seeing Sanjaya looking like he was trying out for the next Matrix film.  In black leather, he actually looks like he could qualify for a street-tough, but only as a dancer in a revival of West Side Story.

I also loved watching our hopefuls enjoy Shrek the Third with Jeffrey Katzenberg.  It reminded me of Princess Fiona from Season Three, Diana De Garmo.  I also want to extent a shout out to Antonio Banderas for supporting our hopefuls and deflecting Ryan's attempts to get him to select a favorite.  Being married to a much much older woman clearly has helped Antonio in maintaining his continental manners.  But despite her advanced years, Melanie Griffith is an exemplar of Beverly Hills plastic surgery since she looked wonderful last night in the front row.  Although Jeffrey Katzenberg tried to be charming, it was more than obvious that he didn't scrape his way to the top with charm lessons from Paula.  I would say more, but God forbid anyone who crosses that nebbish incarnate of evil.

Not only did we see the beautiful Martina perform last night, we also got treated to a special appearance by Fergie.  But unlike Melanie, her plastic surgeons have not done her proud and her performance was a total bore.  Who wanted to see that when it was country week?  I would have preferred Dolly Pardon, rather than this harlot who admitted that at 18, she went on a sex and drug spree.  Once again, do I need to remind the people who produce the show that this is a family event?  All that hard living and Hollywood values hasn't done wonders for her looks since Martina who is more than ten years older looked ravishing.  Her daughter was equally charming and almost stole the microphone from an overwhelmed Seacrest.  What a precocious little minx!

There were other segments from the show that were less appetizing.  For example, did we really need to see Chris and Blake chowing down on take-out food backstage that looked absolutely putrid?  What are they feeding these kids?  You would think with all the money they make at this show they could provide a better spread.  I guess all the resources are going to charitable endeavors like next week's Idol Gives Back 2-hour blockbuster special.

It should be a real event and the long list of luminaries performing will be spectacular.  Our prodigal Idol, Kelly, will return and will probably perform Never Again, her new single.  Not only that, Carrie will be there and hopefully will give Kiki some advice on how to perform a masterpiece like Jesus Take the Wheel.  As for the duet with two top performers, I'm afraid one may be Celine Dion.  Is there any justice?  I don't get any time to savor Sanjaya's long overdue demise and instead will have to endure her over-the-top vocals and grating personalty.  At least Pink will be there to soften the blow along with so many other entertainers like Annie Lennox, Earth, Wind & Fire and Rascall Flatts. 

After 38 million votes and much trepidation throughout the land, this horrible ordeal has ended for those who turn to this show for high-powered vocals and a semblance of normalcy.  Idol isn't a bizarre freak show intended for help desk workers, semi-retarded crying girls and useless misfits who let the FCC bully them into Satellite Radio.

Good bye and good riddance Sanjaya.  As noted on your T-Shirt, "Life is Beautiful."  Like Simon Cowell, the architect of this boy's demise, I smile broadly this morning hopeful that the remainder of this Season will be about more than ridiculous hairstyles and tremulous performances.  Thank you Simon Cowell.  Once again, you stopped the forces of evil with your deadly attacks, but it certainly took enough time. 

Until next week,

Maniac - - out

The Idol - Bleak Country Skies

As country week approached on Idol, who would have thought that during this relative period of calm, America would be facing yet another tragedy.  The shocking nature of the 32 deaths at Virginia Tech makes me wonder whether the Apocalypse is coming.  Our society has become so coarse, cheapened and degraded that senseless murder seems almost common place.  Of course, the ghouls of the MSM are exploiting this to increase ratings, while the Left wrings it hands calling for gun control.  But no matter how many laws they try to impose on us, events like this will continue, unless America is able to restore its moral fiber, which has been so badly tattered by Hollywood values.

Ryan and Simon both noted this tragedy, but the show had to go on.  Martina McBride, a traditional country star unlike the Dixie Chicks, is not only beautiful, but a generous and beneficent guest mentor.  She truly represents the best of the entertainment industry and appears on Hannity's show, rather than sniping about America on foreign soil.  She doesn't even get into politics unlike most of the Hollywood cretins like Alec Baldwin, Sean Penn and other assorted wife-beaters who promised to move to Canada if Bush was re-elected, but never followed through.  Martina inspired our hopefuls and who could forget Carrie Underwood's beautiful rendition of Martina's Independence Day.  As for season 6's hopefuls, some got Martina's soft peddled message, while others couldn't even if they were beaten over the head with a baseball bat.

Coming into this week, all the predictions were calling for Phil Stacey's cone-shaped head.  Indeed, when he appeared on stage in funereal black, he looked less alive than ever.  Martina implored him not to be too stiff and he listened as his performance of Where the Blacktop Ends by Keith Urban was well done.  If America was to discount Phil's other performances, he may make it through for another week since there were others who were far worse and in one case, it was an absolute disgrace to this competition.

Far from being a disgrace, Jordin truly is in this to win it.  At age 17, she is coming into her own as a talent unlike last seasons youngster, Paris Bennett who could never get it together.  Jordin's rendition of Broken Wing was absolutely riveting and one of the best performance of the night.  It was so good it almost made me forget that dreadful Cleopatra dress she wore. Unlike Paris, Jordin seems respectful of this competition and wouldn't snipe in the press as Paris did recently, indicating her support for the anarchists at Votefortheworst.com.  I guess sucking on sour grapes is all she can do since she hasn't released an album while even Elliott is storming up the charts with his new CD.

Sanajya, on the other hand, may have finally gone too far this week with an absolutely catastrophic rendition of Let's Give Them Something To Talk About.  That was simply one of the worst performances on this show and the judges rightfully ripped apart that outlandish spectacle.  He didn't even sing the lyrics.  Instead, he read them like it was a poetry reading in the East Village with a bunch of beatniks in audience living off their parent's assets while pretending to be Bohemian.  The bandanna was equally offensive.  In all fairness, this guy needs to go and I mean NOW.  As Simon noted, it's been funny, but the joke is now as overused as Pamela Anderson's mattress.

Carrie Underwood is a sacrosanct figure on Idol and when you choose her classic anthem, Jesus Take the Wheel, you better not mess around. Unfortunately, Kiki messed that song up big time and is in serious risk of going home after that performance.  Martina had me so hopeful that Kiki would do justice to the that powerful ballad, but all I got was a screeching copy cat rendition.  When Carrie sings that song, I fear for that baby in the backseat, but Kiki made me a momentary supporter of this alleged right to choose. Simon correctly noted that it was like "eating hamburger for breakfast."  The song and Kiki truly didn't go together.

Chris Richardson can be nasally and tinny as Simon noted, but I couldn't understand what was so bad about Chris' rendition of Mayberry. It was pitchy at points, but he seemed to do fairly well with it, although my junior blogger thought "it sounded like it ended in the middle."  Overall, the audience seemed to like it and I think America will agree despite the rather harsh critique, even from Paula.

No neck Weezie tried to be sassy and chose an obscure song, Trouble is A Woman, that even Martina didn't know.  I hate to admit this, but she was great despite the dreadful top she wore, which looked like an ill fitting body girdle.  Simon may have liked the look, but what does he know.  He's from a land where a big-eared dork, like Prince Charles, with an attraction for horse-like woman are contenders for leadership.

Blake isn't country and didn't even try a two-step and, instead, wore an argyle vest that would have been more appropriate for gay pride week at a stuffy New England Prep School. But at least he's original and took a classic country hit by Tim McGraw, When the Stars Go Blue, and made it his own.  The vocals were good and he should be around for quite some time.  Unlike Sanjaya, this guy actually has some ability.

Overall, country week was somewhat anticlimactic in light of this week's events, including the flooding that occurred in the Northeast, particularly in Lodi, NJ, a hard working Italian-American community.  This is our Katrina, but the media and the elites could care less.  Should it shock us that Kanye West and others are silent even though this Italian-American community has been devastated by the floods?  Instead, my people in Lodi get notoriety for being the home to Bada Bing, the strip bar used in The Sopranos, a show that depicts a mythical criminal enterprise called the "mafia."

It's funny that when the White Man founds companies and lists them on the stock exchanges for false profits, its called Corporate America.  However, when Italians establish small businesses, they get ensnared by RICO and labeled as criminal.  What's criminal is that shareholders of Corporate Amerika get shielded from liability from their benefactors in the Government despite all their dirty work, like outsourcing workers, de-funding pensions and polluting the environment with toxins.  It's about time that this shield got lifted, but that will never happen with the graft-ridden, limp wristed Left in charge of Congress.  They can't even pass a minimum wage bill, which is still held up in Committee, while Speaker Pelosi travels the world visiting terrorist regimes in Syria while pretending to be the Secretary of State.

It's too bad someone didn't write a country song about that.  It's got all the markings of an American melodrama.  Tomorrow, the results show could put an end to Sanjaya and his cadre of crying girls and help desk workers.  Time will tell, but I hope I'm right.

Maniac - - out

The Idol - Song Choice Spoilers

Although I can't confirm whether any of these selections are true, I have information as to what to expect this week in terms of song choices for country week with Martina McBride, which are as follows:

1. Phil Stacey - "Ain't Goin' Down Till The Sun Goes Up" by Garth Brooks
2. Jordin Sparks - "You're Still The One" by Shania Twain
3. Sanjaya Malakar - "Boot Scootin Boogie" by Brooks & Dunn
4. Lakisha Jones - "Concrete Angel" by Martina McBride
5. Chris Richardson - "Over And Over" by Nelly and Tim McGraw
6. Melinda Doolittle - "Why Haven't I Heard From You" by Reba McEntire
7. Blake Lewis - "Come A Little Closer" by Dierks Bentley

Obviously, these selections are about as accurate as Bill Clinton under oath, but at least it gives us something to think about before country week commences on Tuesday.  As I said last week, I'm not optimistic about tonight.  The judges didn't even include a country singer this year as a hopeful.  So fasten your seat belts!  Only if the Governor of New Jersey had done the same, he wouldn't be in the Hospital suffering from his injuries.  But what else should we expect from a Left-wing elitist who was too arrogant to follow the laws he likes to apply to everyone else.

When a State Trooper was asked why he didn't insist that Corzine wear a seat belt, he indicated the Governor is not one who takes suggestions.  Yet, the Left has no problem imposing cigarette and trans-fat bans on the rest of us as well as all the highway safety measures since they presume we are too stupid to take care of ourselves.

Should it surprise us that a man who made millions robbing widows pensions at Goldman Sachs was driving at close 90 miles per hour?  What's even more sickening is that such haste was propelled by a meeting with Imus and the Rutgers basketball team.  Why is that the Governor of New Jersey has time to facilitate a meeting so that a Left-wing apologist like Imus can find absolution when the state is mired in corruption and financial problems? 

It's too bad the NJ Slut, Antonella, wasn't still with us.  She could have honored her state and Governor with a rendition of the classic country anthem, King of the Road.

Maniac - - out

The Idol - No More Short Shorts!

What a results show!  What it lacked in suspense; it made up for with a number of skits, a medley, a surprise guest and smoking hot J. Lo.  Although there isn't a lot to be happy about this season, the Producers have now come up with some good vehicles to entertain us, including a cute African girl named Caroline who told Simon he needed a Mansierre.

Don't you just love little kids.  They tell it like it is and in Simon's case it was about time that he exchanged those tight Armani T-shirts for something more flattering like a potato sack.  He's not J. Lo and no one wants to see his nipples.  Although that segment amused me, I was deeply touched by Simon's moving interchange with the kids when he offered them school in a box, which cost around $163.  Now if there is any solution for America's property tax crisis and low performing schools, why don't we start doling out schools in a box?  That should solve all the world's problems along with putting the corrupt teacher's unions out of business.  No one deserves such a fate more, particularly after they way they have ill served so many communities with their multi-cultural, sexually charged curriculum that has left many in America unread and ill prepared for life's challenges.

But instead of focusing on such lurid displays, we need to appreciate the generosity of Fox who put the largest donation, $5 million, towards Idol Gives Back.  Unlike the MSM, the fair and balanced network doesn't pimp stories calling for high taxes in exchange for socialized medicine and other assorted goodies like a gaping hole in our national security system that resulted in 3,000 dead in broad day light.  Fox puts money to good use, unlike the Edwards' who plowed millions into a lavish house in North Carolina.  Mrs. Edwards even attacked her neighbor, who doesn't have her grand wealth, for not keeping his property more coiffed and called him a "rabid Republican."  Isn't it something how the Left can claim to care about the downtrodden, except when they live next door and don't have the money to spend on fancy landscaping.

Fortunately for those Duke Lacrosse players, their families had the means to fight the groundless rape accusations that were pimped by the likes of Sharpton and Jackson.  With a Leftist Democratic stooge like Nifong, who is now up on ethical charges, those two purveyors of hate easily brought about another Tawana-like case.  Of course now when its been proven to be a total fraud, we don't hear either of these haters utter a peep of remorse.  Instead, they are on to more fertile ground with Imus.  Perhaps, Ryan Seacrest will get his slot now that it seems his long overdue demise is unfolding before us.

Another humorous segment last night was when Ryan went to the people and got them to address their feelings about Idol.  The little black girl who hated all the hopefuls, but for Sanjaya and Kiki, was more spicy than some of the hopefuls attempting the Latin beat.  It also highlighted why most people when asked can't even name our Vice President.  His name was Sanjaya; not "Sanjeeya" dummy and he certainly hasn't been hiding in an underground bunker. 

But the highlight for me was seeing Sharon Osbourne in the House along with smoking hot Eva Longoria.  Last night we had the cast of Drive.  Now this!  Will the madness ever stop?  The Producers even treated us to a guest appearance by Akon singing Don't Matter. What that Don't Worry, Be Happy retread had to do with Latin week is beyond me, but it was mildly enjoyable.  But in the words of my junior blogger, he sounds a lot better with Gwen.  Why didn't they get Marc Anthony to perform?  Now that would have been a treat.  But not as much of a treat as seeing Tony Bennett audition for the judges and get panned.  A man of his stature didn't need to do that, but being Italian-American, he knows the indignities that we suffer and had no problem playing along.  Once again, get well Tony.  Hopefully, you will show up for Idol Gives Back Night.  That's certainly a far more exciting proposition than the French Canadian Migraine, Celine.  Yuck!  And they want us to donate money?   

Thankfully, as expected, I got the medley I had so desperately wanted, but I'm not sure that I was that into the song, Bailamos by Enrique Igesias.  However, the choreography was masterful, particularly when Blake and Kiki got down and dirty danced for America.  However, I started to get a little concerned that we'd never see poor Blake again as he could have easily been engulfed for life by one of her hips.

The Ford Commercial, Happy Together, reminded me of that Black or White video from Michael Jackson where one person morphed into another.  Thus, I wasn't that impressed until Sanjaya morphed into Weezie and then Kiki morphed into Blake.  The disturbing thing was that for a moment, it was hard to tell the difference between Weezie and Sanjaya, but not having a neck and looking like a Pez Dispenser was an easy giveaway.

Before Ms. Lopez performed her steamy and sensual number, Que Hiciste, from her new album, Como Ama Una Mujer, Seacrest went through the group and we learned the bottom three, Chris, Haley and Phil.  No big surprise, but I almost thought that Sanjaya may have finally met his maker.  But no such luck.  Ultimately, Chris was safe and we were left with Phil and Haley as the bottom two.  Frankly, I wouldn't miss either one and when Haley got booted, I didn't cry nor did I feel any relief.  It was time and the short-short routine from the other night had been overplayed.  You can fool America once, but not twice apparently.

J. Lo's performance was simply masterful and dramatic.  I didn't understand a word of it, but I liked all the booty shaking, smoke, fire and dancing.  She really knows how to get down and even Simon gave her a standing ovation.  After the performance, she even chatted with Ryan and almost seemed down-to-earth and easy going,  But someone who insured her booty with Lloyd's of London for millions is a little more complicated than that. Regardless, she turned out to be a great guest mentor for the hopefuls.  She even claimed once again to be an avid watcher of the show, unlike some of the others who have been on in the past just to pimp their albums like Diana Ross.  Not to mention the ever elusive Prince who showed up late at the finale last year and then stormed off after his performance without even a word.  A shout out to J. Lo for being good sport, not to mention a few inches taller than Ryan.

Another week has ended on our journey and it now seems conceivable that Sanjaya will make it to the Top 6.  What a very strange world we live in.  Next week, the theme is country with Martina McBride as guest mentor.  With no country hopefuls, this should be very interesting.

As for song choices, Weezie should honor Martina with one of her classics, but update it and make it her own with a little re-write.  Instead of Broken Wing, she could do Broken Neck.  Kiki has no choice but to sing It's Hard to Kiss the Lips at Night that Chew Your Ass Out All Day Long.  And if Chris wants to make a comeback, Burn Down the Trailer Park by Billy Ray Cyrus. Although more southern rock than country, I so want to see Sanjaya take on Freebird.  If anyone can do it, he's the man.

Until next week,

Maniac - - out      

The Idol - Muy Caliente NOT!

A few weeks back when an aged and infirm Diana Ross appeared on Idol and told us Sanjaya means love, I put a good amount of energy into trash talking about her indulgent attitude and Diva-like ways,  Well, tonight I won't dare to utter a peep about J. Lo.  On camera, she was as cute as a buttercup and pure as the driven snow, despite three divorces and overpowering calls for sexiness.  However, when the lights stop flashing and she's home alone with her longest lasting husband, I don't even want to think about all the lamps he has to dodge and groin injuries he must endure.  If there is any take away message from Latin Night, it's that we shouldn't mess with J. Lo.  Ever!

But I'm just a Maniac from the Block; I used to have a little and now I have even less thanks to Corporate Amerika.  A shout out to Citigroup for laying off 17,000 so that incompetent executives can get even higher pay in exchange for substandard stock performance.  I'm sure if J. Lo was in charge, any operation would run with ruthless efficiency and no money would be expended on corrupt politicians like Hillary Clinton.  With the help of her husband, she defrauded our campaign finance system and sold away burial plots at Arlington National Cemetery in exchange for contributions along with our national security to the Chinese Government.  No wonder 3,000 people were slaughtered on 9/11 with priorities like that.

J. Lo definitely had her priorities straight last night and reminded America that her family watches Idol like the rest of America, unlike the elitist pigs of the Left who think they're too good to appear on the fair and balanced network. So if Ms. Lopez wants to throttle me with her high heal boots, I say bring it on!   This sweet little girl from the Bronx who dumped P. Diddy in favor of Ben Affleck in favor Marc Anthony was totally hot.  She implored the hopefuls to be passionate and sexual, but in many cases there wasn't anything she could do.  For example, the first two of the night, Weezie and Kiki, who Don Imus might refer to in colorful terms that many rappers use with the same frequency that John Kerry flip flopped on Iraq and Al Gore downs Dunkin Munchkins while lambasting us about the conservation.  How about saving a little space by shrinking 300%?  With weight reduction, his gas guzzling cars and planes might use less energy and help the environment.

As for Imus, I never liked him.  His show is dated with dumb jokes about dearly departed Nixon, who was wrongly tossed from office by the Left in a coup.  I always supported Howard Stern in his feud with him.  I might even consider joining Al "Tawana" Sharpton and Jessie "Hymie Town" Jackson in calling for Imus' head due his latest remarks. But who are they to call anyone racist?  Who appointed them as moral arbiters and spokesmen for the oppressed?  In the words of J.C. Watts, a former Congressman, both of them are race baiting poverty pimps who have a long record of anti-semitism and racist activities.  Of course, Imus being the loser that he is, apologized for his remark instead of remaining steadfast.  If you are going to say something is a joke with no malicious intent, there would be no need to apologize. After that cowardly act, I was almost going to call my boycott off on Stern in favor of Imus, who doesn't need J. Lo to rip his gonads off since he never had any.

But just for spite, I will stick with my call for a Stern boycott.  But I also implore you to sign the petition calling for a boycott of the Fat Slob of the View who continues to degrade American values with her outlandish rants on the network owned by Disney (see http://www.stoprosie.com/).  If Walt was alive today, he would have pulled the plug on that nut case months earlier.  She is an attention starved loser who came out of the closet to get more headlines even though Ann Heche tried the same stunt years earlier.       

America certainly doesn't view Weezie the same way, even after her robotic performance of Sway.  She actually looked elegant tonight in her black dress with bling, despite her "neck" issues.  And clearly she was spot on when admitted she was "not so sexy."  But Jenny used all the powers she possessed in her well-manicured hands to try to get this turtle to stick her head out of the shell and it kind of worked.  But, J. Lo is no magician.  However, I'll give Melinda props for choosing Sway as opposed to something from West Side Story.  The vocals were precise and excellent, but lacked any passion or charisma.  Although Weezie was glad Simon got his chance to be mean and handled his negative review graciously, it's now time for her to get down and dirty.  Does she think J. Lo clawed her way to the top with meager talents by being sweetness and light?

As for Kiki, I'm getting a pretty clear picture that she was never that sweet. Messing with her might land you in the emergency room and that's before she body slams you.  Instead of turning to J. Lo for advice on the Latin beat, she asked for dance moves.  Come on now.  This girl's got back, but too much of it to swish around like J. Lo.  Her rendition of Conga was better than Weezie, but still not inspiring.  In addition, her attempt at Latin-inspired attire was so off.  Leave the form fitting outfits to Haley and stick to the beat or its off to your bank teller job once again.  I believe there is a distinct possibility that she might end up in the bottom three this week in an Idol shocker.   

Chris R. doing Smooth accompanied by bongos was a highly disturbing sight and emphasized more than ever why a white boy from Virginia shouldn't even try to get down.  It just doesn't work.  Yet the judges praised his vocals, which were so off they sounded like Madonna's British accent.  By the way, I wonder when J. Lo will drop her Bronxonics in favor of a Parisian accent.  I did enjoy Ms. Lopez trying to teach Chris Spanish diction, which he butchered.  But she told him in a nice way: get your act together or the Latinos will turn on you like wolverines!   Chris has obviously spent more time cruising night clubs in L.A. with Lauren Conran from The Hills, rather than practicing and it showed.  Poor Alaina Alexander.  She dyed her hair dark brown and has done some sexy photos on Myspace, but Chris still prefers the shallow blonds over her.  Is there any justice?

Not for Haley, I fear.  This week may be her last, unless the strip tease worked.  Those shorts were so short I don't know why she even bothered to wear them.  America could see all her b'ness tonight. She did listen to J. Lo in some respects, except that rather than biting the words, she just bit on Turn the Beat Around. J. Lo even called Blake in during the coaching session to try to help this hapless Texas find a beat, but all she seemed to locate was the Fredericks of Hollywood and lip stick that was way too red.  Perhaps her "wear as little as possible strategy," which Simon sharply noted, will pay off, but Phil doesn't have a prayer.

J. Lo may have gotten goose bumps listening to his version of Maria Maria, but America may not get the same feeling.  Overall, Phil has good vocals, but the performance showed about as much life as his complexion.  He may soon be joining his family in obscurity.  But at least he has the consolation of snuggling with his daughter's stuffed cow, Simon.  Perhaps, if he squeezes one of its utters, he will still hear Simon telling him how much he sucked.

Jordin is my favorite candidate among the girls and her rendition of The Rhythm Is Gonna Get You was fresh and fun.  But at this stage of the competition, I expected more from her.  She did a respectable job and Randy once again gave her props for the "yo" factor, but I thought she lacked soul.  It was just a little slow and tired for me just like Randy's lame and repetitive commentary, but no where near as dated as Weezie's No Neck Cabaret.

Blake, on the other hand, blew away the competition with his rendition of I Need to Know.  Although Ryan gets more excited by Blake than anybody, it seemed that Jennifer was digging him as did the judges.  He also dropped the plaid pants in favor khakis.  Although hardly Latin, I could only imagine the cackling that would have erupted from Jenny's old friends from the Block if he had tried to pull that off again.  I really do have to give him props for choosing Marc Anthony.  He's a strategic genius in terms of song choice and it showed.  It was a good night for blond white boys.  Just ask the father of Anna's baby.  A shout out to Larry Birkhead and a sorry sucker to Zsa Zsa's husband!

The show closed with Sanjaya singing Besa Me Mucho in Spanish and English. He even painted on a mustache and goatee for the occasion and his hair was respectably coiffed to make him look like a street tough from Spanish Harlem.  But since when has Spanish Harlem become the next Chelsea?  Idol celebrates multicultural talent, but this performance left me speechless and shocked.  The judges praised him, but it was clear they were trying to use a different strategy to get rid of him.   Nothing has worked and the ratings at Idol are slipping this season.  However, I suspect he'll be around for another week at least, despite the fact the he didn't sing tonight. He either screeched or whispered.

In the end, Latin night was weird and it's hard to put it all into words.  But at least Idol gives all cultures a chance on the show and after two weeks of showcasing Italian-American artists, America needed a break from all the intensity.  But don't hold your breathe too long since my people will be back once again when Bon Jovi appears as a guest judge.  He truly is the pride of NJ, unlike that guy who mumbles about the working class from his multi-million dollar homes. I'm sure Springsteen thinks he's way too good to perform on Idol, but who cares. 

The results show on Wednesday will be an hour, which means a medley.  I can't wait.  Who knows what the results are, but my guess is that Phil and Haley will be in the bottom.  After that, its anyone's guess. 

Maniac - - out   

The Idol - Legs Over Arms

Get well soon Tony.  You're a credit to our people and there were many disappointed Italian-Americans who wanted to see you perform tonight.  I have no doubt that Evil Doers infected you with a virus in order to deprive our people of the honor of having two weeks of non-stop Italian madness on the most important Television show in history.

Instead, my people have to be embarrassed by another Italian-American, Pelosi, who cozied up with terrorists in Syria who have been behind many attacks on American interests and allies.  Should it surprise us that the Left sidles up and befriends those who hate America?  Their goal has always been to destroy this country and the principles that are the bedrock of Western Civilization.  This corrupt hack who tried to install Jack ABSCAM Murtha as Majority Leader is a disgrace.

This San Francisco Democrat is a perfect embodiment of the Left as were the three Yale Students who were arrested yesterday in New Haven for burning the American flag that was hanging from a family home. Should it surprise us that Hillary is a graduate of that intellectual gulag?  Regardless of her elitist education, it doesn't seem to be stopping Obama who ended up beating her in fund raising for the Presidential Primaries.  Of course, John Edwards is leaving no stone unturned in that regard.  On his website, well wishers can send sympathy cards to Elizabeth due to her illness. In exchange, they get email appeals for donations to his campaign.  Is anything sacred to these people? What should we expect from a party that did all they could to undermine our country's Democracy with attempted stolen elections in 2000 and successful ones in 1960 and 2006? 

Idol helped compensate for this sordid state of affairs and cleverly outmaneuvered those who tried to deprive America of seeing what real Italians can do as opposed to the coarse and vulgar Bolshevik Pelosi.  Didn't they realize there are many artists of Italian descent including Michael Bublé.  They can't stop our people from performing on this show and outclassing the elitist scum who think they can condescend to our values of freedom, self-expression, and personal responsibility.  In Tony's place, Michael Bublé, a dual Canadian and Italian citizen, performed Call Me Irresponsible, the title track for his upcoming CD.

His performance was just a'right with me, but it pleased me to know the the Producers will not allow the honorable Italians to be overshadowed by power hungry terrorist sympathizers.  However, Michael should have kept his mouth shut, rather than going forward with the Antonella joke.  Haven't our people suffered enough this week with Pelosi's antics?  Do we need to be reminded of the NJ Slut once again?

Despite these indignities, as an act of solidarity with my people and great Italian performers like Gwen, Tony and Michael, America decided to keep beautiful Haley for another week while dispensing with the pierced tongue rocker whose arms will be used in the next remake of the Son of Flubber.  33 million votes were cast and along with the two girls, Phil was in the bottom three again.  But, the ultimate choice was between Haley's legs and Gina's arms.  In the end, Phil's Night of the Living Dead appearance wasn't enough to scare America off.       

Equally horrifying, we found Sanjaya in the 2nd tier of hopefuls along with Chris and Blake, while Kiki, Melinda and Jordin were in the top three.  I'm afraid that Howard Stern is winning his battle against this show.  There is nothing we can do, but spread the word about the boycott I'm organizing against this horrible creep.   I so wish Dick Cheney would emerge from his underground bunker and invite Howard on a hunting trip.  As Vice President, he owes the citizens of this shining city on the hill.

How ironic that this week when Sanjaya survived again the answer to Idol challenge was Kevin Covais, aka Chicken Little?  Of course, my junior blogger texted her vote immediately and told me, "Big deal if we get the tickets.  I want the prize money."  We also need to get cracking working on a song to be submitted to the contest for this years finale.  Since A Moment Like This, songs for the finale have been totally lame.  Assuming Melinda wins, I've already started coming up with some titles.  How about Pez Dispensers On Parade?  Neckless in Seattle?  Ain't Nobody Gonna Hang Me? 

I tried to avoid addressing the Ford Commercial, One Love, which pimped the hybrid vehicle.  But I just can't help myself.  Has Al Gore's science fiction claims even impacted Idol?  I hope not, but I did enjoy seeing Kermit the Frog.  Unlike Weezie, I could see his neck and thought he added luster to that politically correct usurpation upon the fair and balanced network.         

Next week, Mrs. Marc Anthony will act as a guest mentor for our hopefuls during Latin Week and on results night will perform Qué Hiciste off her Spanish language album, Como Ama Una Mujer.  Frankly, I don't have high expectations.  As I'm sure you may recall, Gloria Estefan tried the same thing a few years back and it was a disaster.  Can you picture Phil doing the Mambo?   Can you imagine it if Sanjaya tries to pull off Hips Don't Lie?   

Until next week,

Maniac - - out