After watching last night's show with celebrity cameos and medleys galore, I found all that I had missed during the Season. In a nutshell, this was truly an outstanding way to end, particularly with a season that had filled me with so much disappointment with the early departures of Good & Plenty, the Pickle and Bucky, not to mention Paris. What a spectacle in the Kodak Theater! It was almost too much at points and it filled me with longing for the Summer Concert tour of which I have tickets. In my opinion, those tickets are the equivalent of paper gold.
Of course on page 24 of Today's New York Times, the show was attacked as predictible and stupid, but what else should we expect from a Left Wing rag who kept a liar and plagiarist on staff merely because they wanted to prove how open-minded they were to people of color. It's too bad their tolerance does not extend to those who hail from southern states or are devoutly religious. The Left clearly has no problem showing their true colors when it comes time to condescending to those they deem ignorant. But who are the morons?
What was readily apparent from last night's result was that the South truly has risen again. The Idol ended up to be a Southerner once again beating out an inconsistent candidate who hailed from the West Coast from the center of corrupt and depraved lifestyles and values. What this cultural juggernaut establishes is that America does not want the pedigreed, over-educated drones who tow the Left wing line that has been rammed down their throats with the same gusto that Monica Lewinsky serviced that sleazy scumbag and lousy President. When Taylor was declared the victor and sang that lame Idol anthem, he showed his reverence for the American Dream. He embraced all that we hold dear as Americans unlike the Dixie Chicks who can't get airplay on Country Radio stations with their new unapologetic CD.
Ultimately, America made the right decision last night and most of the Idols seemed to express the same sentiment as they were interviewed on the Red Carpet during the half-hour pre-show, which was somewhat surprising. Usually Idols act a little more diplomatic, but only the girls like Paris, Lisa and the Pickle deflected the question. The others seemed to have no problem declaring Gray the favorite. It makes you wonder what Kat was like behind the scenes for them to be so openly scornful of her chances. As for the Red Carpet Show, it was bizarre and awful. One of the interviewers, the man, seemed almost as drunk as Paula since he could not even remember some of the names of people he spoke with. If Fox is going to go this route, they need to hire better people for this task. The one thing that this waste of air time clearly established is that I now see where Kat got her caboose from as her mother displayed hers amply in a form fitting black gown.
When the show began, it started off with low expectations, but those diminished thoughts evaporated quickly when Carrie appeared dressed in a white suit like Scatmann Cruthers along with all the other hopefuls. It was the first medley of the night and it was simply fantastic. Carrie looked beautiful and Good & Plenty reminded me of Moby Dick. The song choice, We made it Through the Rain, was also inspired. Everyone sounded great, except Ace and Melissa. Although Melissa apparently lost weight since she displayed her belly later in the show and it was no longer flabby.
After that show stopping spectacular, Seacrest appeared shaven and in a proper dark suit and did a humorous montage about the judges making good fun of Randy's repetitiveness, Simon's ego and Paula's insanity. How ironic is it that they used a Whitney Houston song as the background music for Paula's montage! We then visited the two hopefuls hometowns and were greeted by those smoking hot O'Donahue twins in Alabama and Tamyra Gray in LA.
The show then moved to some of the many celebrity duets with the top five Idols which started off with Paris and Al Jarreau doing We're in this Love Together. It was cute and saucy, but my junior blogger thought Al "sounded like Ernie" from the Muppet's. We then got to see Chris perform with Live doing Mystery with the lead singer Ed Kowalsczyk, which highlighted Chris' deficiency. He paled in comparison to the taller and more slender look-alike and clearly emphasized his one-trick pony status.
There are so many jokes we can make about Meatloaf and Kat, but why bother. All you had to do is look at his belly and her butt and the connection between the two was abundantly clear. When Mary J. Blige showed up on stage I was blown away and she blew Elliott off the stage with that show stopping number. In the words of my junior blogger, "compare his dumb voice to hers" as she gave Elliott and his bad teeth the thumbs down. On the other hand, Gray made Toni Braxton look foolish with In the Ghetto. What happened to her? I thought she had power vocals.
We also had some pretty pathetic attempts at humor with that ridiculous segment of Puck N' Pickler where she screamed at a lobster and spit out escargot. That was not funny and I would have preferred seeing her do Fancy again. I did notice her father in the audience fresh from prison beaming with pride and avarice at the millions he'll make off his plucky daughter. Seacrest also tried some routine with that Golden Idol bit, which totally fell flat with the return of Crazy Dave and foul-mouthed Rhonetta, not to mention the Brokenote Cowboys. But that all changed when Mike Sandecki appeared and Clay, 20 pounds heavier with dark brown hair, appeared for a duet. That was simply spectacular and Clay has a set of pipes on him like no other. He should have made Elton proud with his rendition of Don't Let the Sun Go Down on You. Carrie also performed a touching ballad, Don't Forget Me When I'm Gone, from her smash hit record. It was moving and left me emotionally drained, which probably explains why I'm late posting today's blog. By the way, where is Kelly Clarkson? I'm beginning to get angry with her and she may lose her title of American Saint.
Both the Girl & Guys medleys were outstanding and some of the best I've seen topped off with a group medley with Burt Bachrach playing piano as the Idols went through a number of classic hits. At that point though, it was getting a little late and I don't know why they didn't cut to the chase. In the words of my junior blogger, "Cut the blah, blah, blah and get to the point!" Instead, Dionne Warwick appeared and rocked the house.
Seacrest then deceived us into thinking that the results were near, but instead pulled a bait and switch and Prince appeared on stage with two lovely young ladies, scantily clad of course. The fact that the reclusive and aloof star showed up to cap off an evening of joy shows how deep the cultural resonance of this show goes, except to the Leftist Bubble Heads of the East and West Coasts who scorn and ridicule this phenomenon. Obviously, there was no shortage of stars in the house last night with David Hasselhoff, Ben Stiller again, Heather Locklear, David Boreanaz, Emily Deschanel, Camryn Manheim and so many others. A shout out to all of you, particularly David Hasselhoff who is still basking in the glory of his cameo appearance in the Spongebob Squarepants movie and his huge fan base in Germany.
The results were finally announced and to no ones surprise Gray won, but both he and Kat were given Ford Mustangs right after a montage of all those commercial to the backdrop of that hideous song, Don't Stop, which those horrible Clinton's used as the song for their stampede into the White House using every dirty trick in the book. Speaking of dirty tricks, everyone's favorite ambulance chaser, John Edwards, was at it again this week calling Bush "the worst President ever." You would think that someone who is so adept at manipulating juries into unjustified multi-million settlements and then avoiding paying taxes on them could come up with something a little more original and less childish than that. Furthermore, who is he to make such a judgment? He barely spent any time in the U.S. Senate and lost an election that Democrats were expected to win. I don't know about you but I'd rather be the worst President ever than the worst campaigners who lost an election to someone they deemed so intellectually devoid.
I am going to have to end soon and I do so with a heavy heart since I've so much enjoyed sharing the joy and pain of Idol with all of you. But don't despair, as I plan to continue dissecting and discussing the important issues of the day. Just because the Idol has ended for the Season does not mean the Maniac will be silenced. So keep in touch and continue to check in for my continued rampages.
Maniac - - out