I don't know what to say about the girls' performances, but listening to the repeated hectoring about song choice from Randy and Paula was simply annoying. Even Simon joined in instead of charming us with his contrarian nature. These judges need to get their act together for the sake of this competition and America. We are in desperate need of leadership and they are failing us. No wonder Barry Bonds dressed in drag imitating Paula. Her judging was all over the place just like some of the performances. She's becoming a comedy routine and even seemed drunk as she slurred her words and provided inconsistent advise: You're weren't at your best, but you're going to be a star. Paula needs to get her meds in order. And moving her seat away from Simon was childish. No matter how she tries to be coquettish, Simon just has more important things on his mind.
But one thing is certain at this point of the competition. I'm getting to know these kids and they're growing on me, despite that many of our top performers were not up to the high standard they set last week. But that still doesn't change the pecking order in my mind for the top 6: Paris, Lisa, Katherine, Kellie. Princess of Privilege and Good & Plenty. The others were not up to snuff and it is my prediction that Heather and Brenna will go this week.
Heather's arrogance is amazing. Does she really think she can sing a Mariah Carey song and America is going to fall for it? She's no Diva and to attempt to use a signature song of one of America's reigning queens of the music world is simply astounding. Her rendition of Hero was far from heroic. Equally horrible was the posing princess Brenna and her over-the-top personality. Imagine the colossal nerve of this infidel to sing Last Dance. She is no Donna Summer. For that matter, she didn't even qualify for Alvin and the Chipmunks.
Less horrible but still not good enough was an improved Kinnik Sky who had the audacity to take on a country hit. What was that with the cowboy hat and boots? Has she been hooking up with Bucky backstage? The former Beauty Queen, Melissa McGee, also went country with Why I Haven't Heard from You, but it was hard to pay attention to her middling rendition of this song with her mid-section so clearly displayed for America to see. I'm sorry but I don't know what she was thinking. America only wants to see flat and toned abs, not her bulging belly. And Randy thought she was "hot." Will someone call him an ambulance? His brain must be fried.
Speaking of too much fried food, Good & Plenty did end the show on a nice note with her wonderful stage presence. Her rendition of Cry had some "rough" spots, but I could feel the raw emotion from her singing. This is one big girl who took on country music and succeeded last night. Another strong performance but not as strong as last week was Lisa Tucker's Who's Lovin You. She has a strong instrument, but she has not gotten ugly yet. She needs to or else the fashionable Paris Bennett who talks like Mickey Mouse, but sings with the power of a locomotive going at full speed will. If you ask me, Paris actually made Wind Beneath My Wings tolerable to listen to in comparison to that dreadful has-been Bette Midler. I'm glad America beached that whale years ago after all those cheesy movie performances.
Another hopeful last night chose a song from an even more annoying so-called artist than the Divine Miss M. Celine Dion has finally reached the point in her career where she belongs - a low-class Las Vegas lounge act. But despite choosing from that insufferable French-Canadian nightmare, Ayala actually did have a strong performance. I have to admit her persistence is beginning to impress me. She's tackling this competition the way she plowed down her male linebacker competitors in football practice back in her tomboy days before foundation made its way to her androgynous face.
Speaking of tackling, what was Katherine's slap and tickle routine with the Pickle all about. Indeed, I refer to the most exciting scene from last night where Katherine McPhee and Kellie Pickler shared with us the joys of rooming together. I thought it was simply obscene. Fox is a family channel and I don't understand why they were showing us this exploitation. But should it surprise us that the candidate from San Francisco manipulated the hayseed from North Carolina. Poor Kellie doesn't even know what C-a-l-a-m-a-r-i is, let alone the makings of a kinky same-sex mud wrestling match.
By the way, a salad doesn't consist of mayonnaise, cheese and a few shreds of iceberg lettuce. I'm glad Kellie finally had a taste of spinach salad. Perhaps she might even try to eat chicken that has not be fried or bread that might not survive a nuclear attack like wonder bread. This montage almost reminded me of a similar Idol food moment when Diane DeGarmo expressed her fondness for TERRAMISSO (translation: Tiramisu).
As for the performances, they were good but not UGLY. Katherine sang without being pitchy but did not show her depth or emotion. Perhaps having her stage mother in the audience stifled her a bit. As for Kellie, I liked the way she commanded the stage but there were parts of her performance of Something to Talk About that didn't work. I'm not saying I don't think she shows promise, but I can't believe the judges fell for her cutesy bit. I didn't buy it. She's from North Carolina and has access to the Internet so how can she be so out of it. Even the Olive Garden serves Calamari. They must have some of those gourmet establishments down South. Come on now!
Tonight, the guys will be showing us their stuff. Let's hope they're better or the Idol won't be guaranteed the stellar ratings Ryan was boasting about at the beginning of the show.
Maniac - - out