When a family show like the Idol goes to a city where people gamble all night and prostitution is legal, the results are bound to be disappointing. Only 11 were sent to Hollywood and the onscreen talent we were exposed to was not impressive with the exception of a wisp of a girl named Mecca Madison. At 18 years old, cute as a button and belly dancing expertise, she put on a very nice performance, but whether she will make it to the final 12 is anyone's guess. How ironic that the man who wants to turn Mecca into a parking lot was providing the nation with his agenda for 2006 shortly after Idol while John Kerry enjoyed haute cuisine at a fancy Georgetown Bistro. I wonder if he rode his bike home after dinner with his three not-so Purple Hearts in hand to his multi-million townhouse that his demure wife paid for. It's rather ironic that a wholesome show like Idol tarnishes its purity in Vegas on the same night that our political leaders want to justify all their graft and malfeasance in the swamp we like to call the Nation's Capital.
The most poignant moment of last night's show was when the plasticine earth mother of this competition gently chastised Ryan Hart for using foul language. This hard rocker wannabe looked more like a Backstreet Boy and his performance sounded like a chicken possessed by SATAN. How dare he show up in front that esteemed panel of judges and address them in such a manner. Simon may be a peevish prig, but he has a heart of gold. Remember last week when he got a failed competitor rehired at her job after her quixotic quest to get to Hollywood went up in flames. Simon is creating more jobs with his charm than the Democratic Party did during that dark era when they were the majority party. And Randy Jackson may seem like a pimp with his smooth cool cat demeanor, but he is strictly Disney from the pre-Eisner era. I guess that's what happens when the Idol's forum is a city that could never be homogenized by Corporate Amerika.
I don't blame Paula and respect her courage for speaking out for family values and all that we hold dear on the network noted for being "fair and balanced." The scowl on Paula's face scared me, more so than the one Ruffles displayed last night when President Bush quipped about how her husband, Pudge,and he are his father's favorite people these days during the State of the Union speech. Earlier Bush made statements to the Press that Clinton was like part of his family. My heart is about to explode with outrage just like former President Big Mac's did. Is this some kind of joke like the weapons of mass destruction? Since when does the country club family allow trailer park trash like Clinton in. I don't know what that's about, but one of the few justifications people had for voting for Bush was that he was not going to be a Hummer-in-Chief. Now, five years later, he wants us to believe otherwise. I understand that his Bible-belting sobriety mandates forgiving the sinner, but I think he's asking too much in the case of Bubba. This a man who in his quest for power would lie, cheat and steal with abandon. Like Stalin, Hitler & Castro, there was nothing he and his angelic wife would not do to maintain their grasp on power, including, but not limited to, rifling through FBI files of political enemies, selling away our national security to the Chinese in exchange for campaign contributions, and dispensing pardons like gum drops to tax cheats, drug dealers and terrorists all for a quick buck. Lest we forget that that he also violated Federal laws by perjuring himself. We certainly can forgive him for cheating on Hillary. She turned more men towards Bareback Mountain than Janet Reno! But the President of the United States should be above reproach just like the promise of America. It really is sad, but I can still remember with mist in my eyes back in the '80s when America had a real President.
This brings me to the next disturbing twist that has come to my attention. I can feel the pain as I read how the Mainstream Media is going after the Idol by trying to sully Clay's reputation. Who would believe that he had an unprotected internet hook-up with a former military man in a motel room in North Carolina. Not our Clay! Not in our lifetime! This measure of a man would never involve himself in such activities and no one would have even suggested that he was a little light in the loafers. Clay had the courage to share his instrument (I mean his voice) with all of us. You have to wonder why all these stories keep popping up. Could it have something to do with the fact that Idol's ratings are soaring higher this season surpassing even the Olympics and the Superbowl.
I don't care how hard they try, these jealous guardians of the Elitist Establishment will not stop the Idol and the man from down under who has built a media empire that has rocked the foundations of the world by providing us with an alternative voice. Yet all these losers in the Mainstream Media can do is lament that one of their own got blown up in Iraq. If you ask me, more of them should be blown up, particularly since they have spent more time in Iraq trying to undermine our troops in their noble efforts to bring freedom to those who thirst for it.
You have to wonder how long this show will soar. It's been five years and we are still going strong, but the distrurbing performances in Vegas bored me. I can't deny that the returnee montage, as well as the I Will Survive one, from last night were hillarious, particularly J.C. Gray, a bus driver, who returned for another turn with a mullet. Simon would not even let him utter a peep, saving us from the displeasure of having to hear his Hillaryesque screeching. I also found Fat's Domino who was defiant to the end amusing. Yes, I refer to Anthony Andolino from NJ who has 75 pets and lives with a girlfriend. I don't know how they can all fit in one room.
How fitting that President Bush was speaking about immigration reform last night when on Idol, Haggai arrived on the scene with his heart-rendering immigrant story and his patriotic shirt with old glory proudly displayed. I would certainly vote to give him a green card, but Hollywood is no place for him. There was also the pretend immigrant, Alexis, trying to be the Rastafarian even though he hailed from Bakersfield, CA. The judges were not impressed nor was I. How dare he waste our time with this stupid routine. I did not feel a pinch of sympathy for him even when he took off his wig and cried at the end the same way Clinton did at funerals when the cameras where on. The Idol and America does not need a phony.
America is a proud and confident nation as reflected by Princess Brewer who came in claiming to be the next Aretha Franklin, but all she had in common with her was the size of her posterior which extended as far as that Bridge to the 21st Century that we heard about from the Left. Conceited to the end, she would not accept the judges final judgment even though she was absolutely ghastly.
But the final hopeful, Taylor Hicks was not bad. But if he thinks he's going far in Hollywood with prematurely gray hair, he better think twice. Although I respect his Bo-like authenticity, he needs some Grecian formula. NOW! The only other sign of Idol talent last night besides sweet little Mecca was Heather Ward, the 28 year old corrections worker striving for a better tommorow. I thought she had a lot of courage and creativity. How many Afro-American hopefuls had the confidence to take on the country music genre in this competition? I could not believe that Paula passed on her. What a BEEYATCH!! Thankfully Simon and Randy overturned her the same way the Supreme Court may overturn Roe v. Wade now that Justice Alito is on the Court. Sorry, Teddy. You weren't able to drown this son of immigrants ambitions with your baseless and foolish filibuster attempts, not even with the help of the Vietnam War hero who flew back from Switzerland to try to engineer more years of a Court that legislates. The days of Liberals trying to use the bench to get their agenda through that voters have soundly rejected in election after election are over. I sure hope that Senator Kennedy does not turn to drink again to ease his sorrows. I can't imagine that would be good for his health since his liver probably looks like Hiroshima after the bomb was dropped.
Tonight, we will be in Austin, Texas and I'm convinced it will have more to offer than the city where a Chicken Ranch is not a place to get dinner.
Maniac - - out